Someone Else's Final Frontier

Cartoonist Johnny Hart, creator of the popular B.C. comic strip, once quipped "Cutting the space budget really restores my faith in humanity. It eliminates dreams, goals and ideals and lets us get straight to the business of hate, debauchery and self-annihilation."

Earlier this year, President Barack Obama announced that he is scrapping the Constellation program, which was supposed to replace the aging space shuttle with a new orbital vehicle and return men to the moon by 2020, from which they might venture further out into the solar system. This move has caused some to speculate that the future of space exploration will not belong to America but to some other nation, very likely the Chinese.

In response, Neil Armstrong, the first human being to walk on the moon, Eugene Cernan, the last human being to walk on the moon, and Jim Lovell, one of three human beings who almost didn't make it back from the moon, wrote an open letter to the white house expressing their dismay. These are men who risked their lives in pursuit of a dream, only to see that dream shelved during their lifetimes.

We all understand that times are tough at the moment and the space program is expensive. Some might argue that the U.S. government, already mired in trillions of dollars in debt, can't afford to support a space program. Yet the Pentagon spends the estimated $108 billion that it would cost to return men to the moon by 2020 every three months or so. Obama has earmarked $600 million per year for the next five years for the design and manufacture of heavy-lift rockets required to send spacecrafts to Mars or the asteroids. Sounds good at first, until one realizes that that's about the same amount of money that it costs to purchase just four F-22 fighters. I suspect that the U.S. Air Force will likely be purchasing more than four F-22's per year over the next five years.

America never shone so brightly as she did during the Apollo years. The space program has given science invaluable new insights into the origin of the Earth, her moon and the solar system itself. It introduced new technologies and disciplines that have found useful applications outside the field of space exploration. It has subjugated no peoples and hardly killed anyone, with the exception of three unfortunate accidents. Unlike the shameful Abu Graib prison scandal and Wall Street's more recent financial implosion, the space program has done nothing to undermine America's international reputation. Quite to the contrary, the space program has been one of those American undertakings that the rest of the world has looked on with admiration. What a shame that, as Johnny Hart previously observed, America is once again forsaking her loftier dreams in favor of war, greed and short-sighted self-interest.

I'd suggest that Canada step forward, except that we'd probably just scrap the entire program and destroy all related materials after building the first five rockets.

Happy New Year

Well, 2009 is gone and I suspect that most of us are happy to bid it a fond "Good Riddance!" Here's hoping that 2010 is an improvement.

We've seen some hopeful signs in the past year. Economists and politicians tell us that the economy has turned a corner and is back on the upswing. I take that with a grain of salt, especially when I hear the unemployment numbers and remember that I myself am now contributing to that statistic. As I review my investment portfolio, however, I can't deny that the values of my various retirement investments have generally pulled out of their year-long nosedive and seem to be trending gradually upward again; an admittedly promising sign.

The United States, not to mention the rest of the world, was finally relieved of the poisonous and inept Bush administration, which was replaced by the much more promising and seemingly well-meaning Obama administration.

The H1N1 pandemic proved to be far less deadly than it might have been. Governments, working with the pharmaceutical suppliers, were able to immunize those at highest risk with impressive speed.

While the total failure of the participating nations at the Copenhagen Summit to agree on any sort of strategy to deal with global warming may be disappointing to many, at least they didn't commit the world to an ineffective plan, as Gwynne Dyer has pointed out in his writings. Doing nothing is still better than doing the wrong thing. As a Canadian, I feel compelled to add that I'm dismayed at Canada's lack of vision and leadership on this crucial global issue.

The world continues to face serious challenges. The billions spent by the developed nations in order to prop up their largest corporations have plunged these economies into debt that may take generations to repay. The countless dollars and lives wasted in the needless and ineffectual wars in both Iraq and Afghanistan have done nothing to quash the threat of terrorism, as evidenced by the attempted bombing of Northwest Airlines Flight 253 on Christmas Day. Global warming remains possibly the biggest threat to the well-being of the world today, with no solution in sight.

All is not darkness and despair, however. We've seen glimmers of hope. What we need now are leaders with the vision to place the interests of the common good before narrow, short-term self-interest presiding over citizens willing to do the same. Here's hoping it begins in 2010.

Wild Mood Swings

One of the more interesting web sites I've stumbled across is something called Wild Mood Swings (http://www.wildmoodswings.co.uk/) by Sean McManus. Wild Mood Swings is the perfect web site to visit when you're bored and you feel like surfing the web but you're not sure where you want to go. Wild Mood Swings gives you a combo box that you can use to select what sort of mood you're in. There are many different moods to choose from, from the familiar and expected (angry, happy, sad, foolish or even bored) to the more esoteric and whimsical (naked, I want my mummy, froody, politically correct and the ever-popular "totally integrated in a diversified marketplace" - I know I feel that way a lot!) Once you've chosen your mood, click a button labeled "Take me away" and Wild Mood Swings takes you to a web site appropriate to that mood.

Some of the web sites suit the selected mood. Others are chosen more to get you out of the mood that you've indicated, or at least deal with it. Select "Peaceful", for example, and you're whisked off to Stop the War Coalition; a web site that protests the war in Iraq. Select "Angry", on the other hand, and you're transported to the Songs For Teaching website, where you can find the lyrics and sheet music for a song called "Count to Ten!" by Jim Rule. You can also listen to some of the song, order the CD on which it appears, or download the album. Having listened to what there is of the song on-line, I can testify that it's impossible to listen to this song and stay angry. Nope! Can't be done!

Wild Mood Swings has a large selection of moods (and related web sites) to choose from (there are 174 at the time of this writing) so it will take you quite some time to see them all, and more are still being added. I haven't seen them all myself. I would, however, like to shine my blogger's spotlight on some of the more interesting or amusing links that I've found on Wild Mood Swings.

If You're Feeling: Adventurous

Wild Mood Swings Recommends: Samorost-1

Samorost-1 is a bizarre on-line adventure game. It's about a strange little man who apparently lives on ... well ... what looks like a small asteroid made up of a weird amalgamation of rock and tree trunks, floating through space. One day, he discovers another small asteroid, similar to his own, heading directly for him on a collision course and so you guide our intrepid protagonist as he sets out for the other asteroid in search of some way to alter its course and forestall disaster.

The game has quite a surreal mood, with a look and style reminiscent of something out of a Terry Gilliam animation. You control everything via a simple point-and-click interface, and there is nothing in the way of instructions or hints. You simply need to explore, experiment and figure things out on your own.

If You're Feeling: Argumentative
Wild Mood Swings Recommends: Things My Girlfriend And I Have Argued About

This web site chronicles the seemingly dysfunctional relationship between an English chap by the name of R. "Mil" Millington and his German girlfriend, Margret. If there's ever any friction between you and your significant other and you're having serious doubts about whether the relationship can work, just visit this web site and you're guaranteed to come away feeling better. Mil and Margret apparently cannot agree on anything. I mean anything! The web site consists of a long (and, by "long", I mean DNA sequence encoding long) list of things that the two have argued about; everything from the proper method of cutting a Kiwi fruit in half to arguing over the arguments themselves. I kid you not!

In fairness to the fairer sex, I must point out that many of the issues over which Mil and Margaret disagree are issues over which the sexes have often disagreed since time immemorial and, as this web site is authored by the male of the relationship, it tends to presents things entirely from the male point of view. Margret is never given equal time or an opportunity for rebuttal. (Or, if she was given an opportunity, she very likely decided that it would be pointless).

Now, you may be saying to yourself, "Good Lord! Don't I have enough grief in my life as it is? Why would I want to immerse myself in someone else's?" Well, aside from the well-known adage that misery loves company, Millington's most redeeming quality is his excellent and irreverent sense of humor. This web site is truly an amusing read; laugh-out-loud funny at times, in fact. I can only wish that my blog were as funny.

Take, for example, Margret's apparent insistence on asking Mil questions about movies or TV shows that the both of them are just seeing for the first time and for which Mil can't possibly have the answers, which will doubtless present themselves in any case if Margret were to simply watch the show. Questions such as "Who's she?" or "Why did he get shot?" or "I thought that one was on their side?" until Mil has to suppress the urge to yell "JUST WATCH IT! IN THE NAME OF GOD, JUST WATCH IT!"

Aside from all that, it becomes clear as you near the end of his writings that, in spite of their apparent incompatibility, Mil and Margret remain together, which makes them a true inspiration. If these two can maintain a relationship, surely anybody can! I can only assume, though, that Margret hasn't seen Mil's web site.

Apparently, Millington has even published a book about his domestic misadventures. There's certainly enough content on his web site to fill a book. You won't get through it in a single sitting, so bookmark it and visit whenever you need a good chuckle.

If You're Feeling: Clairvoyant

Wild Mood Swings Recommends: http://www.futureme.org/

Ever looked back on your life and thought "If I could somehow go back and visit myself ten years ago, I'd tell that person..." Wait! Let's turn that around. What if you could talk to yourself 10 years from now? What would you say? What kinds of questions would you ask? Well, now you can. This web site lets you send an e-mail to your future self. Enter your e-mail address, type a message and select a delivery date, and futureme.org will deliver your message to you at the appointed time. This assumes, of course that:

a) You are still alive at the appointed time.

b) Your e-mail address hasn't changed.

You can mark the message as either "public" or "private" and you can read public messages that others have sent their future selves.

You have to date your message at least 90 days into the future. If you try to send yourself a message the next day (as I did, just to verify if it works) the site admonishes you that it's "Not a reminder service".

If You're Feeling: Foolish
Wild Mood Swings Recommends: The Top 100 April Fool's Day Hoaxes Of All Time

This one's timely! Read about the funniest, most innovative April Fool's gags ever pulled. Like the respected BBC News show that convinced thousands of gullible Britons that spaghetti grows on trees and that 1957 yielded a bumper crop of the pasta, thanks to a mild winter and the virtual elimination of the dreaded "spaghetti weevil".

And just in case you're thinking "People were a lot more gullible back in those days. Now we're much more savvy," how about the 1985 Sports Illustrated article about Sidd Finch, the up-and-coming rookie pitcher, schooled in a Tibetan monastery, who could throw a baseball at 168 mph with pinpoint accuracy?

My personal favorite is the article printed in the April, 1998 issue of the New Mexicans for Science and Reason newsletter, which claimed that the Alabama legislature had officially voted to change the mathematical value of Pi from 3.14159... to the "biblical" value of 3.0 (well, if it actually happened anywhere, it would have to be in Alabama).

These and other astonishing April Fool's jokes await you on this web site. The incredible part is that people actually fell for all of these.

If You're Feeling: Inspiring

Wild Mood Swings Recommends: Motivator

You've probably seen those motivational posters that some businesses display in order to "pump" their employees. They generally feature some inspiring photograph that suggests achievement, like a mountain climber scaling a granite wall or some dude sailing into the sunset on a hang glider, accompanied by an inspirational message that consists of a single word, such as "ACHIEVEMENT" followed by a short phrase, like "Sometimes reaching the destination requires going that extra mile".

You've probably also seen humorous parodies of these same posters. In fact, one of them can be found right here on this blog.

Motivator lets you make your own motivational poster, either serious or not so serious. Just choose an appropriate picture, pick your font, choose a border style and colors for your font and the background, and presto! Instant motivational poster, suitable for printing and framing. If you sign up for a free membership, you can even order professional prints of your poster, if you like.

If You're Feeling: Like Trespassing on Government Property
Wild Mood Swings Recommends: Abandoned Missile Base VR Tour

Some web sites let you virtually go places where you wouldn't normally be allowed to go, or that would be dangerous to visit, even if you were allowed. This is such a web site.

The authors of this web site found and broke into a decommissioned abandoned underground ICBM missile complex. While inside, they took several photographs, which they uploaded to their web site and turned into a virtual tour. They make no bones about the fact that what they did was, in fact, highly illegal and even more dangerous and they do not reveal the actual location of the base. Thanks to their somewhat foolhardy excursion, you can now see the remains of this cold war relic from the comfort and safety of your swivel chair.

If You're Feeling: Lost

Wild Mood Swings Recommends: FOUND Magazine - Find of the Day

Another unusual concept. This web site collects scraps of paper, sticky notes, photos, doodles and other miscellanea found lying around on the street and makes them available for your viewing pleasure. While most of us probably wouldn't spend a lot of time collecting every scrap piece of paper we come across, some of these do provide fascinating glimpses into the psyches of people whom we've never met and likely never will meet.

If You're Feeling: Magnetic
Wild Mood Swings Recommends: Analog Audio Tape Cassette Nostalgia

Okay, time for a re-emergence of my inner geek. I don't know why I like this web site. Actually, yes I do. It has to do with my innate love of nostalgia, coupled with the countless hours that my best friend, Mart, and I used to spend dubbing our vinyl records to tape. I still have my audio tape collection and looking at this web site just brings it all back.

"Ah, yes, the old Maxell XL II Epitaxial 90-minute Chromium Dioxides," I'll purr with a wistful smile. "I remember when you could pick up a box of 10 of these babies for about twenty bucks. Yeah, I spent a lot of happy hours dubbing Pink Floyd and Alan Parsons to these. Even after all these years, there's hardly any "wow" or "flutter". Sweet!

Okay, that's enough! There are lots of other cool links and I could go on and on listing them, but why don't you just go to Wild Mood Swings and check them out yourself? Oh, and, if you're reading this, McManus - how's about one hand washing the other? After all, I plugged your web site. If your readers happen to be in the mood for, oh I don't know, thoughtful discourse, intellectual stimulation or just a plain old hearty belly-laugh, why not link them to The Halmanator? It can only elevate the quality of your already fine web site even further!

Goldstein Unmasked

Have you heard? They've isolated the cause of the current financial crisis; the biggest economic meltdown since the nineteen thirties. All this time, I'd assumed that it was a combination of several factors; overspeculation by greedy investors, unsustainable debt loads accrued by imprudent borrowers, large-scale investment in complex, high-risk financial instruments, lack of regulation by apathetic governments. It seems I was wrong. It wasn't any of those things. No, according to a Wired magazine article, it was this guy. Let the world tremble at the name of DAVID X. LI (hereafter to be known as "Doctor X").

Oh, don't let his mild-mannered looks fool you! Behind those spectacles lurks a diabolical fiend, bent on bringing the world economy to its knees! Let the amateurs waste their time with their ineffectual terrorist tactics, their trade embargoes, their commodity control, their protectionist economic policies. This guy wields a weapon capable of causing true world anarchy. The GAUSSIAN COPULA FUNCTION!!! (Insert strident orchestral chord here).

We know now that, even before the dawning of the new millennium, this megalomaniacal mastermind laboured in the dark recesses of the University of Waterloo, perfecting the statistical equivalent of the atomic bomb. In the year 2000, his fiendish schemes reached their fruition as he released his evil formula upon a naive world, cleverly disguised as a scholarly paper, in which he urged gullible investors to apply his insidious formula to credit risks, encompassing everything from bonds to mortgages. The unsuspecting fools took the bait, and set in motion an irreversible chain of destruction. By the fall of 2008, American banks and insurance firms began to collapse, taking with them the rest of the world economy. Not since Flexible coding of temporal information by pigeons: Event durations as remember and forget cues for temporal samples (allegedly the inspiration behind Hitchcock's "The Birds") has a scholarly work so threatened the very fabric of our modern society!

I'm certain that "Doctor X" is the only one who knows how to stop this catastrophic formula, and has probably already issued a communiqué to the chief of the United Nations, promising to call it off only after being proclaimed Supreme Emporer Of The World. We puny mortals have no choice but to acquiesce or perish.

In George Orwell's "1984", the Party invented a faceless scapegoat, known only as "Goldstein". Every evil, every misfortune, every form of subversion and perversion was ultimately blamed on him. He was a convenient target for the peoples' anger and frustration; one that conveniently directed attention and scrutiny away from the Party. We already have our modern equivalents for newspeak (political correctness or misleading words) and doublethink (Iraq's non-existent weapons of mass-destruction and multi-millions in bonuses being paid to the same incompetents who visited disaster on Wall Street). We certainly have our Big Brother (the U.S. government tapping its citizens' telephones without cause, mass media and credit reporting agencies). Now, it seems, we have our Goldstein too.

Support Our Troops

I get mixed feelings whenever I see a "Support Our Troops" ribbon on the back of a car or on the window of someone's house. What does that mean, exactly? Does it mean that I'm expected to condone Canada's presence in Afghanistan or, if I happen to be American, the United States' presence in Iraq?

I think that most people now understand that the Iraq war is a sham. America's reasons for invading a country which posed no threat to the United States have been shown to be invalid. There were no weapons of mass destruction. There was no link between Saddam Hussein and Al-Qaeda. Iraq was not harboring Osama Bin Laden and had nothing to do with the September, 2001 attack on the World Trade Center.

And why are Canadian troops in Afghanistan? They went there at the request of the Americans, after the 9/11 attack, presumably to flush out Osama Bin Laden, who was presumed to be hiding somewhere in the Afghani hills, and perhaps to disrupt Al-Qaeda's operations. But, again, Bin Laden was never found, and Al-Qaeda still remains active.

Meanwhile, each week more Canadian and American families bury their young soldiers. At the time of this writing, 97 Canadian soldiers have died in Afghanistan since the start of the conflict. In total, over 1,000 coalition soldiers have lost their lives there. Over 4,500 military personnel have died in Iraq, and almost 4,200 of those were U.S. troops, and for what? What did they die for? What have we accomplished? What do we expect to accomplish before it's over?

I think we need to draw a distinction between supporting our troops, and supporting our governments' military agendas. I support our troops. I have the deepest respect and admiration for every Canadian and American soldier that goes to Afghanistan or Iraq or anywhere else. These are volunteers, not inductees. They have chosen, for their own reasons, to support their countries in these theatres. They are away from their families and friends and from the comforts and familiarities of home for extended periods, and many have given their lives to the cause. My problem is that I still don't fully understand what that cause is, or whether it's valid. I suspect I'm not alone.

Supporting our troops does not necessarily mean blindly supporting our governments' military agendas. For some, it means getting clarity about why they are being asked to make the sacrifices that they have been asked to make, and to ensure that the reasons justify those sacrifices. Supporting our troops means challenging those who give those troops their marching orders, in order to ensure that not one soldier dies in vain.