Thursday, December 31, 2020

The Up-side Of 2020


I think that most people would agree that 2020 was not the best of years.  Aside from causing millions of deaths and sicknesses, COVID-19 has ravaged the world economy, throwing countless people out of work and causing the closure of countless businesses.  And yet, the Halmanator, being an eternal optimist, can find silver linings among even these ponderous clouds.  Here are some positive things that have come out of 2020.

The Environment

At their peak, daily global CO2 emissions decreased by 26% compared with the mean 2019 levels, according to Nature Climate Change.  During the spring lock-downs, stories abounded about wildlife appearing in deserted city streets.  Aside from finally moving the carbon footprint in the right direction, this also refutes, once and for all, the argument that global warming is not caused by human activity.  The moment human activity is reduced, the carbon footprint decreases.  One couldn't ask for a clearer indication of cause and effect than that.  Perhaps more importantly, this has shown us that we can reduce carbon emissions.  It's not an unattainable goal.  We simply need the collective will to change our energy consumption habits.  The move from gasoline-powered cars to electric cars has been accelerated in many countries, promising a much-needed reduction in fossil fuel consumption within the next decade or so.  That's a definite step in the right direction.

Sharing the Wealth

Because of increased unemployment, many governments introduced some form of government income support until businesses could re-open and resume their activities.  This has shown us the benefits of a universal income program, something which had already been suggested before the pandemic, but which the pandemic may have accelerated.  Several countries are now looking much more seriously at this idea.  It's an improvement over traditional welfare because the recipient isn't penalized for improving his or her financial situation.

In This Together

Most people followed the new health and safety protocols, from wearing masks and frequent hand washing to staying home as much as possible to keeping a safe distance from others.  Many employers adopted a "work from home" policy and made it possible for employees to do so.  Front line workers including health care professionals, police, fire fighters, farmers, truck drivers and even common store clerks and food servers braved and continue to brave the risk of infection on a daily basis so that essential services can be provided.  Many of those with the financial means have donated to charities and food banks to help the less fortunate.  In many cases, the pandemic has brought out the best in people and has reminded us that we're stronger and more effective when we work together.

Trump Dumped

Yes, Donald Trump, that narcissistic, misogynistic, racist, vacuous, soulless, arrogant, jingoistic, narrow-minded, deceitful, elitist charlatan, the worst excuse for a man ever to occupy the office of President of the United States of America, has been voted out of that office.  Even so, he still refuses to accept defeat graciously, which in itself speaks volumes about his deplorable dearth of character.  No matter, the American people have spoken and the word is "go", and don't let the door hit you on the ass on the way out.  To quote Gene Wilder's Willy Wonka, "You get nothing!  You lose!  Good day sir!"

COVID-19 Vaccines

Not only have several viable COVID-19 vaccines been developed, but this has been accomplished in record time.  Perhaps this signals a new scientific approach that may herald similarly speedy cures for future diseases.  And lets not forget the brave volunteers who helped with early testing by agreeing to receive what was then an as yet untested vaccine so that it could be proven safe and effective.

2020 came with more than its share of challenges.  On that there can be no argument.  Yet it also reminded us of the indomitably of the human spirit, and what we can accomplish when we work together with goodwill and cooperation.  That's a message worth hearing.

Friday, July 3, 2020

Honey vs. Vinegar

A while ago, I was pulled over for nothing more than having the bad judgement to cut off a cop.  See, I was stopped at an intersection.  I had a stop sign.  The perpendicular traffic did not.  I swear I looked both ways and saw no cars.  Unfortunately, there was a bend in the road several yards to my left and, as I stepped on the accelerator and drove out into the intersection, a police cruiser suddenly came around that bend, headed right for my broadside.  His lights and siren were both off but, in hindsight, he must have been moving pretty quickly.

I floored it, in order to get out of his way as quickly as possible, while the officer behind the wheel of the cruiser simultaneously floored his brake pedal and turned on his bull horn.

Now, some of you may sympathize with me.  Some of you may be thinking "he must have been coming around that curve pretty darned fast!  Clearly, this was not your fault, Halmanator!"  Some of you might even have suggested as much to the police officer if you had been in my place, making protests along the lines of "I looked and saw no-one coming!  How fast were you driving, anyway?  You must have been speeding along at a pretty good clip!  I could understand it if you were responding to some kind of emergency dispatch but your lights and siren were both off!  Now, I'm willing to keep this little incident between us, but don't let it happen again ... pig!"

But that's not what I said.  I pulled over once I'd cleared the intersection, rolled down my window, and waited.  Within a few seconds, the cruiser drove up and stopped behind me.  The cop stepped out of his cruiser and sidled up to my driver's door.  Before he could say a word, I gave him my most sheepish smile and said "Well, that was definitely my bad!"

He regarded me silently for a moment and said "Yes it was."  Then he asked for my license and registration, which I promptly produced.  He went back to his cruiser for a few moments, presumably to check my history and look for any outstanding warrants, then came back, handed me back my license and registration and said "I know that curve is pretty close to the intersection but, next time, look more carefully" and, with that, he left.  No ticket.  No fine.  All in all, I'd gotten off easy.

My point here is that, had I been more combative or even belligerent, both my wallet and my demerit point collection would likely have wound up considerably lighter.  My apologetic, if not friendly attitude, probably helped a lot.

A more serious example:  In her book, Completely MAD (A History of the Comic Book and Magazine, author Maria Reidelbach talks about the history of MAD cartoonist Max Brandel, before he joined the magazine:

"A native of Austria, he had just begun a career as a cartoonist when the war broke out; during the Russian occupation of Poland he and his wife were captured by the Germans.  He was imprisoned in concentration camps, where he escaped death by amusing the Russians and the Gestapo with his caricatures of them."

Even in the midst of one of the most hellish institutions in history, Brandel was able to soften the hearts of men who thought nothing of sending whole families to their deaths by simply being likeable and making them laugh.

Then there's my dad.  During his battle with leukemia, he spent a fair bit of time in the hospital, not surprisingly.  The nursing staff always seemed particularly fond of him, again because he was simply a nice guy.  He accepted his sickness and the discomforts that arose from it gracefully, with few complaints, and he was always congenial with the nursing staff, smiling and chatting with them and occasionally expressing his appreciation for the care that they gave him.  When he died, several of them showed up at the funeral home visitations to pay their last respects.

Never underestimate the power of niceness and likeability.

Saturday, June 13, 2020

Waxing Philosophical

René Descartes, philosopher; a wise and learned man
Said "I can prove that I exist; I think, therefore I am!"
I'd like to pose a question, though, that puts him on the spot:
A table doesn't think, so does that mean that it is not?

That verse was written by your friendly, neighborhood Halmanator back in the days of his youth, when he fancied himself a poet.

My tongue was, of course, planted firmly in my cheek when I wrote that verse.  As any logician will tell you, just because a premise is true, it does not automatically follow that its opposite is also true.  To wit: although thinking or self-awareness can be considered proof of an entity's existence, it does not follow that any entity which is not self-aware and unable to think does not exist.

We might extend the argument to say that an entity can also prove its existence by imposing itself upon the thoughts of one or more other sentient entities.  If you or I think about the table, we acknowledge its existence even though the table itself has no self-awareness or thought.

But if we accept that, we may blunder into the following challenge:  Hundreds of thousands of young children believe in Santa Claus.  They think about him so, given the previous argument, that is proof of Santa's existence.  But of course, Santa Claus doesn't exist ... or does he?

Perhaps the argument can be made that anything that occupies the thoughts of another does exist in some sense, especially if it occupies the thoughts of multiple others.  The tooth fairy, the bogeyman, Bugs Bunny, Darth Vader, Tom Sawyer, el chupacabra, Superman, Little Red Riding Hood and, yes, even God.  It may be argued that all of them exist in some sense, if only because we, the human race, have willed them to.

Saturday, March 28, 2020

Happy Chalk

Like many other people, I'm working from home nowadays because of the Great COVID-19 Pandemic.  I have to admit, all things considered, I've been lucky.  My job lends itself easily to working from home (I'm a computer programmer) so, for one thing, my family's income hasn't been affected too badly (my wife isn't working for the duration but qualifies for employment insurance benefits and hers is by far the smaller income anyway, so we're not feeling the pinch too much).  Still, being cooped up in the house most of the time is starting to give my wife and myself a minor case of cabin fever, so we mitigate the effects by taking walks around the neighborhood.

While taking such a walk yesterday, I noticed that someone had scrawled some "feel good" messages on the sidewalk with sidewalk chalk; "You're special", "Be happy", "Stay strong" and the like.  I smiled at that and, as our walk continued, my amusement turned into amazement, because the messages didn't stop after just a couple of houses.  They appeared at regular intervals for an area that covered at least two or three blocks; "U R #1", "Be kind", "Smile", "You're Awesome!", "Think positive", "Life is beautiful" ... the messages went on and on.

My heart melted to think that, in the midst of all the fear and uncertainty caused by this virus; empty grocery shelves, tumbling financial markets, social distancing, strained budgets, thousands dying for the love of God ... some Neil Pasricha wannabe out there not only manages to remember the simple joys that can still be found, but actually spreads a little sunshine around.

Awesome!

Sunday, March 15, 2020

We're Bigger Than This

Hi.  Remember me?  I haven't written in a while, I know.  Somehow, I just haven't found much to inspire me to write.  I consider myself to be something of an introvert and, as an introvert, I don't tend to speak unless I have something to say.

As I write this, the corona-virus, or COVID-19, is spreading inexorably around the globe, causing a fair degree of angst.  It's not a particularly dangerous virus.  Most people who it has infected have recovered from it after experiencing only modest symptoms of illness.  But it's extremely contagious and it's dangerous to the elderly and the infirm.  Even for the younger and stronger among us, a positive diagnosis means at least two weeks of social isolation.  So people have started to take precautions.  Some are appropriate, such as frequent hand washing, avoidance of unnecessary large gatherings and unnecessary touching such as shaking hands, and some are less appropriate, such as stockpiling and hoarding things such as food, water, cleaning supplies and toilet paper.

COVID-19 itself has not directly caused any shortages of the aforementioned goods; we have done that.  Ordinary people who, out of fear and paranoia, feel the need to stockpile as though the end of the world were at hand. 

Since there is no shortage of goods and supplies, I assume that this is largely driven out of over-cautiousness.  "If I get the virus, I need to quarantine myself for about two weeks, and during that time I can't go out and buy the supplies that I need, so I had better stock up just in case".   While this is a legitimate concern and sounds reasonable at  first blush, I think people are reacting disproportionately.  Look at toilet paper, for example.  If you were forced to isolate yourself, how much toilet paper would you need to last you for two weeks?  How many rolls to you go through in a day?  Two?  (That's probably generous).  Okay, so 14 days times two rolls a day ... you might need 28 rolls of toilet paper.  That's about two twelve packs, plus a bit.  Heck, let's be generous and round it up to three.  But some people have been seen leaving bulk warehouse stores with two and three and more packs of 40 rolls each!  The problem, of course, is that this leaves less for the rest of us.  So you get line-ups, and empty store shelves, and arguments.  At one warehouse store in my vicinity, a fist fight actually broke out over toilet paper according to a recent news report.

The irony is that we are only making it harder on ourselves.  We are taking a small problem and making it into a much bigger one.  We are making a mountain out of  a proverbial molehill, if you'll forgive the cliché.  Much of our misery is self-inflicted.  What worries me is that if a relatively benign problem such as this one brings out the worst in us, causing us to act with no more reason or grace than our simian cousins, then what will we do when we have a real crisis?  What if this virus was truly deadly, like ebola or anthrax?  What happens when global warming causes inevitable shortages of food and water?

I'm reminded of a story I once heard, a modern day parable if you will:  A man dreamed that he was shown the afterlife.  First he was shown hell.  In hell,  there was a long banquet table laden with delicious food of all sorts, but the only utensils available for eating were chopsticks that were three feet long (and if someone tried to eat with their fingers, Satan chopped them off, I suppose).  Everybody at the table wept because the chopsticks were too long.  They couldn't bring the food to their mouths, and  so they went hungry, even as they had to look at all that enticing food sitting right there in front of them.

Then the man was shown heaven.  Strangely enough, there was the same sort of banquet table and everyone had the same three-foot chopsticks for utensils.  But the people in heaven picked up the food with the end of their chopsticks, and offered it to their neighbor across the table, and everyone was satisfied.

This story illustrates beautifully how things can be so much better when we cooperate and work together rather than against each other or think only of ourselves.  We needn't be "picking holes in each others' coats" as Dickens' charwoman so eloquently put it in his immortal novella, "A Christmas Carol".  We're bigger than this.