Tired of Guilt

Recently I was reading the editorial section in my local paper and I came across an article that started as follows:  

I have been attending vigils for victims of gender-based violence for years and whether the focus is on missing and murdered Indigenous women, or marking the anniversary of the Dec. 6 shootings at École Polytechnique in Montreal, there’s always a noticeable absence in the crowd — men.

Other than a select few, why are men missing from these events? Do you feel like these spaces aren’t for you? That femicide and gender-based violence aren’t your issue?

Well, speaking as a man who did not attend the vigil, let me offer the following answer (speaking only for myself of course).  First of all. the author didn't say where or when said vigil took place or how long it lasted but, if it took place during regular business hours on a weekday, I would have been at work and if it took place in the evening and ran too late, I would likely have had to be at work early the next day.  Most of us have regular jobs to go to and can't take time off whenever we feel like it to support other peoples' causes.  I've noticed that people who organize vigils, rallies and protests often seem to schedule them on weekdays when most people are working.

But I have another reason for not attending, even if I wasn't doing anything else, and that is that I'm quite simply tired of being made to feel guilty about wrongs done to others which I neither instigated nor participated in and which have nothing to do with me other than my happening to be part of a demographic which is painted as the antagonists.  I am of European descent and was raised Roman Catholic which makes me somehow complicit in the residential school fiasco unless I support the Truth and Reconciliation movement.  I am a white Caucasian so I'm an anti-black racist if I don't show support for the Black Lives Matter movement.  I'm also antisemitic because I once posted an article in this blog supporting Helmut Oberlander because he was persecuted for having participated in Nazi atrocities without a shred of hard evidence to support the accusation.

Getting back to the vigil, the author paints all men who did not choose to attend the vigil as antagonists who either participate in, or at least condone, femicide and gender-based violence.  Note that she doesn't ask about the women who weren't there.  They're part of the victim demographic so they get a pass.  The implication is that my non-attendance of the vigil coupled by my belonging to the antagonist demographic makes me somehow complicit or guilty of the wrongs that have been done.

Let me state, for the record, that I am a husband and father who has never once raised my hand against either my wife or my daughter.  I have cared for and nurtured them to the best of my ability and I object to being made culpable for the wrongs committed by others who happen to share my demographic because I didn't go out of my way to expressly show support for the victims.  Quite frankly, I believe that demonstrations such as this vigil ultimately accomplish nothing.  They don't eliminate or even reduce the problem, and they don't even increase awareness of it.  The vigil came and went and yet femicide and gender-based violence continue to occur as frequently as they ever did.  But I suppose that's my fault.  Had I attended the vigil, things would surely have improved.

Hold The Phone!

 Quick, what's this?

 

 

Darth Vader trying to levitate a pile of volcanic rocks from the planet Mustafar?  (Actually, that's a bowl of watermelon cubes).

 

A piggy bank like those old coffins where a skeleton hand comes out and takes your coin?

 

 

No?  Here's a clue.

 

Yes boys and girls, it's a phone holder!  It doesn't charge the phone.  It doesn't plug into the phone or communicate with it wirelessly in any way, shape or form, so it doesn't alert you to incoming calls or messages by flashing its eyes or anything like that.  It doesn't talk ("You have an incoming message, my master!") or do anything else special.  It just provides you with an interesting place to set your phone when you're not using it.  (At this point all the millennials out there are scratching their heads wondering "What do you mean when you're not using it?")

As anyone who has perused this blog before will already know all too well, I'm a bit of a Star Wars geek (and Star Trek geek, and Simpsons geek, and ...) so anyone who has occasion to buy me a present for whatever occasion and can't think of anything I need tends to get me Star Wars stuff (or Star Trek or Simpsons stuff).  It was my daughter who got me this thing last Father's Day.

I have to admit, for a geeky gift, it's surprisingly practical (now I always know where my phone is) and it is kind of an ego boost having the Dark Lord of the Sith as your own personal phone caddy.

 

Let The Good Guys Win

It's New Year's Eve as I write this.  Another year winds to a close and we hope for better things in the new year, as always.

Hoping for "better things" feels like I'm setting the bar pretty low this year.  The last few years haven't been great overall.  Between the COVID-19 pandemic that simply refuses to go away, a global environment that continues to degrade while the leaders of the world's nations seem to lack the will, if not the ability, to do anything to turn it around, Russia causing untold misery for millions of innocent Ukrainian people with its indefensible war of aggression, spiraling inflation casting increasing numbers of people into poverty and homelessness around the globe ... well, it's easy to feel like things have no way to change but for the better.  

Sometimes it's tempting to assume that a large part of the reason for the many problems that our world is experiencing is that the wrong people have been elevated to positions of power and influence.  To name but a few examples, Donald Trump seems primed to recapture the lead of the republican party of America and attempt a second bid for the presidency of one of the world's richest and most powerful nations, despite having clearly incited a treasonous attempt to subvert the democratic transition of power after losing his last election and having illegally removed classified government documents and kept them in his Mar-a-Lago home, to say nothing of his alleged tax fraud charges.

Vladimir Putin continues to wage his senseless war of aggression on the Ukrainian people, targeting innocent civilians, even against the wishes of many of his own people.

Former Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu seems poised to recapture the leadership of Israel while still under indictment for alleged acts of bribery, fraud and breaches of trust during his last tenure, and despite the fact that he has been clear about his plans to displace the Palestinians living along the west bank from their homes.

In short, the bad guys appear to be winning and the state of the world reflects that.  Maybe what we need is for the good guys to win once in a while; the Volodymyr Zelenskyys, the Alexei Navalnys, the Joe Bidens, the Justin Trudeaus. Now, some of my readers may object to my glorification of some of those names and, to be sure, they all have their faults being human after all, but I believe these people, call them the "good guys", have the best interests of their public at heart, whereas the "bad guys" act only in their own self interest and that of their friends.

So, if I could be granted a personal wish for 2023, it would simply be this:  Let the good guys win once in a while.

 

 

Happy 2023 everybody!

MJF Disease

I had started to notice a number of physical changes in me that I largely wrote off to aging; after all, I was less than a year away from completing my sixth decade on this Earth.  

To begin with, I had started to slow down.  Everything seemed to take longer than it used to.  Take shaving, for example.  It suddenly seemed to take an inordinate amount of time to cover the lower part of my face with shaving cream.  

Formerly simple activities, like putting on a jacket or coat, suddenly became more difficult.  As I stuck my arm into my jacket sleeve, the sleeve of my shirt would slightly catch on the inside of my jacket liner, and even that slight resistance caused my whole arm to tremble slightly.  Pushing my arm all the way through just seemed harder than it should be.

Most disconcertingly, I had begun to notice that my hands would tremble slightly when I was sitting at rest.  I could stop the trembling by concentrating on relaxing all of the muscles in my arms and hands but, if I wasn't thinking about it, if I just sat normally, my hands would invariably start to tremble.

Months went by and the anomalies didn't seem to go away.  In fact, they seemed to worsen somewhat.  And new anomalies began showing up.  Most annoyingly (and embarrassingly), I started drooling out the right side of my mouth from time to time, and I didn't seem to be able to stop it.

Finally, I got concerned enough to see my family doctor about it.  She ordered a full spectrum of blood tests, all of which came back normal.  "I have good news, and bad news," she told me; "The good news is that I can't find anything wrong with you.  The bad news is that I can't find anything wrong with you, so we still have no explanation for the trembling hands, etc. that you've been experiencing.  My next recommendation would be to refer you to a neurologist."

Wow.  A neurologist.  That's a brain specialist, assuming that my vocabulary is still unaffected.  Does this mean that the problem might be in my brain?  That would be a bad thing.  I need my brain!  Appearances to the contrary, I use it quite a bit!  What could it be?  Parkinsons?  Lou Gehrig's Disease?  A malignant brain tumor?  (Answering myself in my best fake Arnold Schwarzenegger accent: "It's not a toomah!")  No matter; I had started down this road and I wasn't about to turn back now.  So my doctor made an appointment with a neurologist for me.

After allowing me to tell her, in my own words, why I was there and what kind of symptoms I had been experiencing, the neurologist began by asking some probing questions:

Do I smoke? (No).  Have I ever smoked? (Not regularly).

Do I drink?  How much?  (No, really, how much?)

Any recreational drug use?

Do I ever have any strange dreams?

Do I ever "act out" any of my dreams in my sleep?

How's my libido?

... and so on.

She then proceeded to have me do a number of tests, both physical and mental:

Repeat the following sentences / sounds after me.

Follow my finger without turning your head.

Point to the ceiling, then the floor, then the door.

Which hand am I waving?

Mimic my hand movements.

What is the object that I'm holding called? (A ball-point pen).

(Pointing at the tip of the pen) what is this part called?

(Removing the cap) what is this part called?

Name the months of the year in reverse order.

Count backward from 100 by sevens (most of the people I've told about this admitted that they weren't sure how well they would do at that one either).

... and so on.

I had expected her to suggest a CAT scan or some kind of brain X-ray, so I was a bit surprised when, having completed the tests, she told me "I am seeing some kind of Parkinsonism".

Parkinsonism.  As in Parkinson's Disease?  You're telling me that I have Parkinson's?

Truth be told, I wasn't taken completely by surprise.  I had suggested, jokingly (I thought) to some of those with whom I had discussed my symptoms that maybe it was Parkinson's.  But I wasn't really serious.  After all, Parkinson's is one of those afflictions that only happens to "other people", right?

The neurologist was, generally speaking, very thorough and professional.  Her only questionable action was to take my blood pressure after the aforementioned conversation and then commenting that my blood pressure and heart rate were "somewhat high".  I couldn't resist pointing out that it might just be a physical reaction to just having learned that I have an incurable, degenerative brain disease!  (Duh!)

She prescribed a drug called Levodopa.  Funny name, but the "dopa" part comes from the chemical dopamine, which is not secreted in adequate quantities by the brains of Parkinson's sufferers like myself. The drug apparently tops up my dopamine levels for me.  I have an appointment to see her again in about a month at which time she will assess how I'm responding to the medication.  This will apparently tell her more about what flavour of Parkinson's I have (apparently "Parkinson's" is an "umbrella" term that includes a whole spectrum of afflictions), how far my Parkinsonism has progressed and she will make further recommendations at that time.

In the meantime, I of course got into full Google mode and began researching Parkinson's.  One of the best resources that I've come across is the Michael J. Fox Foundation website, which has all kinds of great information and resources, including a downloadable pamphlet especially for newly-diagnosed Parkinson's patients like myself.

While I don't intend to turn this blog into a "Parkinson's" blog, I will likely be posting updates that I think may be interesting to my readers.  In the meantime, I'm asking all who know me to refer to my condition as "MJF Disease" rather than "Parkinson's", just because Michael J. Fox is much cooler than James Parkinson, even if James gets the credit for first identifying the disease.

How To Solve Global Warming

Image borrowed from https://www.joboneforhumanity.org/plan

A little while ago, I wrote an uncharacteristically (for me) pessimistic post about global warming in which I expressed my considered opinion that our species is not going to be able to solve this problem.  Well, as Theodore Roosevelt once said, "complaining about a problem without posing a solution is called whining."  

I believe that's a fair comment.  The problem is, I have no specific solutions to offer.   If I did, I'd be much richer and more famous than I am.  I only know that what we have done to this point is insufficient and, indeed, what we intend to do, based on the recent COP26 conference in Scotland isn't encouraging either.  I did, however, make what I think is a useful observation that might provide a broad suggestion as to what it will take to solve this crisis.

For example, while it`s clear that the mining and the burning of coal are significant sources of the CO<sup>2</sup> gas being added to the Earth`s atmosphere, neither China nor India, two of the world`s largest coal producers, have expressed a willingness to put an end to its mining.  Instead of agreeing to "phase out" (i.e. gradually end) coal production, they committed only to "phase down" (i.e. reduce) coal production.

Other countries were quick to condemn the two nations for their unwillingness to cooperate.  However, if one realizes that coal powers a significant portion of China's power grid and, indeed, that China needed to increase production after experiencing widespread power shortages in mid to late September, one comes to realize that it's not enough to simply agree to end activities that cause global warming.  We need to understand why those activities are in place and we need a concrete plan for how those needs will be met via alternate, environmental friendly resources.

To put a more personal spin on this, you might decide to commit to stop using natural gas, another source of CO², to heat your house, but first you need to figure out how else you are going to heat it, because you do need heat.  Once you've decided how you're going to heat your home without natural gas, you need a plan for converting to that method and it's going to cost money, so you also need to budget for it.

Another example; lots of people are looking toward replacing gasoline-powered cars with electrical ones as a way to significantly reduce CO² emissions.  After all, electrically-powered cars produce zero emissions.  No-brainer, right?  Except that electrical cars are expensive and not within everybody's budget, and charging stations are arguably still too few and far between, and charging a battery still takes a heck of a lot longer than filling a gas tank.  

 Further, although the electrical power grid can sustain the handful of E.V. (electric vehicle) owners out there to date, could it also support re-charging the literal millions of E.V.s that will flood the streets once we finally do away with gas-powered cars?  I've read stories about brown-outs and black-outs due only to increased air-conditioner usage during the summer months.  Yet we seem to assume that we can support this and recharging millions of electrical cars without a problem?  

The lithium batteries that power these cars don't have an infinite life span.  How are we going to dispose of or recycle them when they start reaching their end of lives in significant numbers?  And can we produce enough lithium to make the millions of batteries required for all those millions of E.V.s in the first place?  It's considered a "rare earth" mineral for a reason, you know.  

And what kind of CO² emissions are generated by the manufacturing process behind a typical E.V. in the first  place?  Will we simply be replacing the CO² emissions that come from driving our cars, with those that come from manufacturing them?  I haven't heard many of the same people that seem eager to embrace replacing gas-powered cars with E.V.s ask any of the above questions, and I sure haven't heard them answer any of them.

Don't misunderstand me.  This is not a defense of fossil fuels nor a denigration of electrical-powered transportation.  It's simply meant to point out the shortsightedness of those who over-simplify the problem of making the very necessary conversion from greenhouse gas-producing technologies to carbon-free or, at least, carbon-neutral ones.  It's not enough to say that we'll do it or even that we'll do it by a given date.  We need a concrete roadmap that lays out how this will happen; one that acknowledges that costs and inconveniences will have to be endured by all. Until we can do that, I say again ... we're doomed!

Tapestry

One of my favorite Star Trek: The Next Generation episodes is the one entitled Tapestry, which was aired during the show's sixth season.  

This episode begins with the death of captain Jean-Luc Picard, when he is attacked by aliens called the Lenarians while on a diplomatic mission.  He finds himself in the afterlife where he meets the infamous Q; a mischievous, if not malevolent being with almost god-like abilities whose path Picard has crossed before, and who always seems to have a hidden agenda.

Q informs Picard that he is dead, explaining that it needn't have been so if he had possessed a natural heart rather than an artificial one which was surgically installed during Picard's younger (and more reckless) days as a Starfleet ensign after he made the unfortunate decision to pick a fight with a group of very bad-tempered and strong aliens known as Nausicaans, only to be impaled by a Nausicaan spear-like weapon for his trouble.  Q explains that a normal heart would have survived the energy beam that had hit Picard's chest during his recent fracas with the Lenarians, but the artificial heart was, unfortunately, less resilient.

Picard expresses regret over his misadventure with the Nausicaans, not only because it apparently lead indirectly to his untimely death, but because he feels that he acted in a foolish and headstrong manner and he suggests that he might do things differently if given the chance.  On hearing this, Q transports Picard back in time, to two days prior to his tussle with the Nausicaans and challenges him to change the course of events and avoid the fight.  If he can do this, he can avoid getting stabbed through the heart which will mean that he has a normal heart when he is later attacked by the Lenarians, which in turn, will mean that he survives that encounter and regains his life.  In spite of his mistrust of Q, Picard reluctantly agrees to play along, not only for the chance to avoid death but also for the opportunity to change a part of his past of which he is not proud.

As events unfold for the second time, Picard makes every attempt to avoid confrontation with the Nausicaans but doing so requires him to act in an uncharacteristically reserved, at times seemingly cowardly manner, causing his friends from that time to question his motivations and character and, indeed, alienating them in the process.

He ultimately does manage to avoid the skirmish with the Nausicaans and, true to his word, Q returns him to the present day where he finds himself no longer deceased, but back aboard the Enterprise ... but also no longer her captain.  Suddenly he is a lowly assistant astrophysics officer reporting to the Klingon, Lt. Worf.  Through ensuing conversations with the Enterprise's senior officers and also Q, he learns that his cautious, risk-averse approach to the Naussican confrontation set in motion a pattern of similar behavior in all things, causing others to see him as competent, but unimpressive and leaving him a dreary functionary with a tedious job and no prospects for self-improvement.

Naturally, this new development is not at all to Picard's liking and (spoiler alert) he persuades Q to allow him to re-live his youth yet a third time and once again fights the Nausicaans, gets impaled, and is returned to his normal timeline and rank ... still alive.  It seems that Q simply felt that Picard needed a lesson about being true to himself.  The episode title comes from Picard's comment, in the end, that, although he isn't proud of some of the things he has done in his past, he has found that pulling on one of these "loose threads" caused the entire tapestry of his life to unravel.

Canada is, in my opinion, one of the finest countries in the world.  Its people are known to be diverse and accepting of other cultures.  We enjoy a high standard of living, a government that respects individual rights and freedoms, a high calibre of education, a health care system that ensures access to high-quality care for all and a reputation that makes Canadians respected and welcomed by virtually every other nation.  

We also have things in our past that could have been done better and of which we are not proud.  We weren't always as accepting of other cultures as we are today, and there was a time when we segregated indigenous children from their families and tried to assimilate them into the British colonial culture.  There are some who would eradicate anything that reminds them of those unenlightened times.  This ranges from tearing down statues of those who are perceived as the instigators of the segregation to renaming buildings, streets, parks, towns and even entire provinces whose current names seem to glorify the British colonialism that lead our ancestors to act as they did.  

In doing this, we may be making the same mistake as Jean-Luc Picard did, failing to understand that our faults and our virtues both make us what we are, and to alter any one aspect of our identity or our history changes our very essence.  Edmund Burke famously said "Those who don't know history are condemned to repeat it".  If we truly succeed in eradicating all traces of our colonial past, we risk forgetting our past mistakes and, ultimately, repeating them rather than acknowledging them and learning from them.

We must also remember that those whom some would vilify for being the architects of the residential school system which separated indigenous  children from their families were not entirely villainous and, indeed, brought about positive changes as well as negative ones.  For example, Sir John A. Macdonald, who has become the target of scorn for many as the chief architect of the residential school system, was also known to be a drunkard and was embroiled in a scandal for accepting election funds in exchange for awarding a contract to build the Canadian Pacific railway which forced him to resign as Prime Minister.  Yet he was one of the prime architects of Confederation which turned British North America into the nation of Canada.  Canada owes its very existence to this man.  And the Canadian Pacific railway remains an invaluable part of Canada's infrastructure to this very day.  

 If we were to go back in time and erase Sir John A. Macdonald from history, we would very likely return to the present to find that all the provinces and territories north of the 49th parallel are suddenly nothing more than America's 51st to 63rd states. 

We're Doomed!

"The trouble is, you think you have time."    - Confuscious

I'm really worried about global warming.

Yeah, I know, who isn't right?

Well, far too many climate change deniers aren't worried, but I'm not worried about them either.  Happily they're the minority and therefore not really the problem.

See, I don't think that we're going to beat this.  It isn't because we don't have the scientific knowledge or the technical expertise to make the necessary changes.  What makes climate change such an insidious threat is three things:

1. Everybody thinks it's a future problem.

Most people think that climate change is something that's coming in the next decade or two.  Climate change is here now.  Signs of it are everywhere if you only look.  The polar ice caps are receding.  Glaciers are melting.  Average global temperatures are increasing year by year.  Extreme weather events like tornadoes, hurricanes, violent thunderstorms and prolonged droughts are becoming more and more frequent.  It's no longer a question of avoiding the consequences of climate change.  It has now become a question of minimizing the damage.  And yet, still, the nations of the world do nothing substantive beyond setting carbon emission targets for the next decade or two, and then consistently missing them.

2. Everybody thinks it's somebody else's problem

The U.S.A. says that India and China aren't doing their part to reduce carbon emissions.  China and India blame the U.S.A. and each other.  Everybody vilifies Canada for our carbon rich extraction of bitumen from the Athabaska tar sands (and rightly so).  Developing countries argue that they should be exempt from carbon limitations, at least until their economies come closer to parity with those of the developed nations.  In short, everybody points the finger at someone else and cries "They're the problem, not me."

3. The people who understand the scope and urgency of the problem are not the people who make policy

Climate scientists have been sounding the alarm for years.  They show us the evidence that climate change is an existential threat.  They urge us to reduce carbon emissions now and give us grim projections of the consequences should we fail to do so,  But they can only inform and warn.  They have no power to affect the drastic changes that are needed to avoid disaster.  That falls to the government leaders and politicians who, unfortunately, consistently prioritize their own short-term goals over the long-term good.  Every politician knows that implementing the necessary changes will mean higher taxes, personal inconvenience and, therefore, a loss of voters.  Yes, you and I are also at fault, my friend because our self-serving leaders only give us that which they perceive that we want, and most of us would balk at the kinds of personal sacrifice and increased costs that real change involves.

And so the human race sleepwalks lemming-like onward toward the precipice, unwilling and unable to change course or to stop.