Kitchen Reno, Part 5: The Auxiliary Kitchen

Our kitchen has finally been cleared.  It's easy to under-estimate the amount of time it takes to accomplish this.  My wife, Judy, and I have been gradually working at it for weeks now, and yet we only just managed to complete the task the day before our current kitchen was scheduled for demolition.

Some of our old kitchen's contents were given away, some were thrown away, some were placed in storage, but a lot of it was moved to an auxiliary kitchen that we set up for use while the new kitchen is being constructed.  After all, we still need to be able to prepare meals, we need a place to store food and ingredients, we need a source of drinking water and we would like to be able to enjoy the occasional cup of coffee or tea and other such non-essentials.

A spare bedroom that was occupied by my daughter and her husband before they finally left the nest was turned into an auxiliary kitchen.  Our portable dishwasher, which had probably been looking forward to a bit of a holiday, considering that there would be no water tap to connect it to and, therefore, no way for it to do its regular job, was doubtless rudely surprised when it found itself re-purposed as a counter-top, appliance stand and makeshift cabinet for the dishes that we use most often.  

For drinking water, we moved our water cooler, which dispenses both hot and cold water, from our old kitchen to the auxiliary kitchen.  A portable shelving unit with wheels on its legs had been our microwave stand as well as a place to keep cat food and other sundries.  It now supports our air fryer, an electric induction hot plate, some boxes containing kitchen garbage bags and compostable waste bags, some cook books and other sundries. A couple of large plastic totes were re-purposed as a countertop on which we set our kitchen knives and a cutting board.  These totes aren't empty.  They contain items from our old kitchen which we won't need to access or use until the new kitchen is completed.

Our microwave oven still comes in very handy for meal preparation, of course, so one of the night stands that our kids had left behind was re-purposed as a microwave stand.  Our bread box containing bread (what else?), buns, english muffins and other grain products sits atop the microwave, just as it did in our old kitchen.  We can also use our crock pot as a slow cooker and our electric frying pans for fried foods.  We couldn't come up with sufficient countertop space nor electrical outlets to operate these at the same time as all the other appliances, so we swap out the induction hot plate with whichever disconnected appliance that we need.

We set up a makeshift pantry by strategically stacking empty large, plastic totes and an empty cardboard box on their sides for use as shelving.  The contents of the old pantry (or, rather, those foods and ingredients that we use the most frequently) went onto these makeshift shelves.

An old metal shelving unit that we weren't using for anything else was used for storing pots and pans as well as our tea pot in a readily accessible manner.

Finally, our old kitchen drawers containing cutlery and other smaller kitchen utensils as well as cookbooks and such were set on the floor with their contents left inside them for now.  

 We had intended to move our refrigerator into the auxiliary kitchen.  There was room for it, right next to the water cooler.  Unfortunately, while I checked to ensure that the fridge would fit into the spare bedroom that houses the auxiliary kitchen, I failed to check whether it fit through the door to that room.  It does not.  So, the good folks from Borman Construction, who helped us to move the fridge between rooms, set it up in our dining room instead.  Not quite as elegant, but workable.

This is to be our de facto kitchen for the coming month. 

Kitchen Reno: Part 4 - The Timeline

Borman Construction has now provided us with a detailed project schedule for our kitchen renovation.  It looks like this:

• October 15 - 16: Complete demolition of the existing kitchen.
• October 16 - 19: Installation of electrical. 
• October 19 - 21: Installation of plumbing.
• October 21 - 23: Installation of drywall.  Repair and prep ceiling for painting.
• October 23: Install impermeable floor membrane.
• October 26 - 28: Install ceramic floor tiles.
• October 28 - 30: Paint walls and ceiling.
• October 31: Install kitchen sink. 
• November 2 - 4: Install wall cabinets. 
• November 5 - 15: Install countertops. 
• November 13 - 17: Install homeowner-supplied appliances and range hood.
• November 15 - 18: Final touch-up  (plaster and painting).
• November 16 - 18: Install backsplash tiles, dishwasher connections and homeowner-supplied kitchen faucet. 

So, there you have it.  The kitchen reno will start a few days after (Canadian) Thanksgiving and will take about a month.  We should have a new kitchen in time for the holidays.

Note that the above is a simplified version of the project schedule.  The actual schedule provides a lot more detail regarding what each task entails as well as what Borman Construction will provide vs. what Judy and I are responsible for supplying. We need to purchase a new stove and range hood, a built-in dishwasher and a kitchen faucet.  We pay for those ourselves, over and above the quoted renovation cost.  Borman Construction will install them all for us.  We're keeping our old refrigerator.

We also need to select our cabinets (already done) and select a countertop and backsplash style as well as ceramic floor tiles and a sink.  The cost of these is built into the contract, but we still have to select what styles we want.  We also need to select a wall colour.

Rather than waiting until the very last moment to shut down our old kitchen, Judy and I agreed to do so about a week ahead of time.  We figure that this will give us lots of time to clear out all remaining dishes, cookware, appliances, etc. from the old kitchen, set up our auxiliary kitchen and get accustomed to living with a makeshift kitchen while the current one is still usable in the event that we completely overlooked something.

Kitchen Reno: Part 3 - The Vision

Two weeks ago, Eric Borman introduced my wife, Judy, and me to Heather Fisher.  For the benefit of those who may not have read Part 1 of this series, Eric is the owner of Borman Construction; the company that Judy and I have selected to renovate our kitchen.  

Heather Fisher is a professional kitchen designer who came along with Eric to see our current kitchen for herself (she could be forgiven for assuming the photos that Eric may have shown her to be an elaborate practical joke) and to offer some suggestions for our new layout.  She works for AyA Kitchens, so it seems I was wrong in thinking that Borman Construction will be doing all of the work themselves.  Apparently, they do subcontract other specialists, but it was clear to me, watching and listening to Eric and Heather interact, that the two have worked together for several years and they know each other well.

Heather began by confirming some basic assumptions:

• We're going to replace our portable dishwasher with a built-in model.  
  
  
• We're getting a new stove, but we're keeping our current refrigerator.  
  

• We're also keeping our current microwave oven, which is a counter-top model, as opposed to getting an over-the-range model, which is installed above the stove, where the range hood normally goes, and has the advantage of using no counter top real estate.  

 She then offered several suggestions:

• A U-shaped layout with fixtures, appliances and cabinets arranged in such a way that functionality flows from station to station.  (Don't tell Judy that this appeals to me because it reminds me of a Star Trek bridge layout!)  Plus, we could still add a center "island" later on, if we chose to (not that we're planning to do so).
  
  
• Move the pantry from its current location in the far corner of the kitchen to the "east" wall, between the exit that leads down to the basement and the refrigerator, and install pull-out shelves for greater ease of access.  This also places the two food storage facilities side-by-side so that the refrigerator food and the pantry food can get to know each other better. 
  
  
• Move the stove to the "north" wall at the far end of the kitchen such that it is bordered by a generous amount of countertop space on both sides, where the small appliances can be placed so that all food preparation facilities (stove, microwave, air fryer, toaster, coffee maker) are together or at least within reasonable proximity of each other.
  
  
• Install 45-degree cabinets in the "northwest" and "northeast" corners of the kitchen for easier access.

After discussing all of the above with us, Heather and Eric left and, a week later, Eric sent us the drawings shown here (which, to give credit where it's due, were drawn by Heather).  Judy and I were both suitably impressed and accepted the layout without any changes.  

I did have a few questions, such as how many electrical outlets will there be, and where will they be located?  Eric assured me that there would be "lots" of electrical outlets on the countertop.

One other thing that I had noticed is that, while admittedly sporting a veritable plethora of cabinet and countertop space, there was precious little room for our water cooler.  The only place where it will fit is against the "south" wall (the only wall left untouched by the proposed reno), but that wall currently has no electrical outlets.  I asked Eric whether we could add an outlet to that wall.  He said that can be done and also suggested that the plumber could install an reverse osmosis water tank beneath the sink.  This would do away with having to constantly buy the 19-litre water bottles that our water cooler uses.  While a nice idea, we're going to have to nix that, because our water "cooler" actually dispenses both hot and cold water, a feature that we like, and I've since learned that under-cabinet R/O systems can't dispense hot water.

Having approved the general layout, it was time for Judy and me to select the cabinets, specifying style, finish, drawer/hinge type and door/drawer handle type.  For this, we visited Heather at a nearby AyA Kitchen showroom, where she showed us samples and finished display models so that we could compare options and get a mental picture of what our kitchen would look like.   She also offered some useful practical tips on things such as what cabinet styles were more difficult to clean or would need cleaning more frequently because ridges on their exterior surfaces would have a greater tendency to attract and build up dust.

We wound up selecting Alban style cabinet with a flax oak finish and champagne bronze handles.  She also suggested that we consider upgrading the drawers to the left of the stove, making them specialized garbage and food waste bin storage.  This added about $1,000 to the cost estimate, but Judy and I decided that the added convenience was worth it.  We said to go ahead with that and Heather updated her drawings and advised Eric Borman, who sent us a change order for our approval.  Once again, that budgetary flexibility that I mentioned in Part 2 of this series proved useful.   

Kitchen Reno: Part 2 - The Best Laid Plans

The scope of our planned kitchen renovation means literally gutting the existing kitchen and building a new one from scratch.  Given that a kitchen cannot be demolished and rebuilt in a day or less (trust me, I checked!), it then follows that, from the day that the wrecking ball meets our current kitchen until the completion of the new one, our home is not going to have a kitchen.  Having arrived at this conclusion, my wife, Judy, and I came to the realization that, before the kitchen renovation begins in earnest, we will have to:

1. Clear out anything that we don't wish to see destroyed along with the old kitchen, including all appliances, dishware, cutlery, food, the cat, etc. 
   
   
2. Find an alternate means of fulfilling all the functions that the old kitchen used to fulfill, including food preparation and storage plus dispensary of drinking water and the washing of used dishes.  We may be increasing our reliance on paper plates, disposable cups and plastic cutlery but a certain amount of dishware reuse will be unavoidable, if only those accoutrements used in food preparation.  I Googled and I Googled but not even Gemini was able to find anything like a disposable paper saucepan.

Future Auxiliary Kitchen

And so it was that we set about planning ways of overcoming these hurdles, one by one.  Our basic approach will be to set up a temporary makeshift kitchen to be used while the new one is under construction.  Fortunately, we have a spare room that we can designate for just such a purpose. It's a bedroom that was recently vacated by our daughter and her husband, who finally moved into a place of their own.  It's largely empty, save for a few odds and ends left behind by the "kids", including a night table that looks like it might make a decent microwave stand.

This room will house the refrigerator, a microwave oven, an air fryer, a slow cooker, a toaster and a Keurig coffee maker, all of which will be moved from the old kitchen to the makeshift one.  Small tables that we happen to have standing around in our basement and large plastic tote containers will be employed as makeshift counters upon which the smaller appliances will be placed.  There will be no functional stove, obviously.  All food preparation will have to be done using the aforementioned list of appliances and/or our (outdoor) gas grille, which is equipped with a side burner for heating pots of water and such.  The renovation is scheduled to start in late September or early October (no firm date yet) so the weather should be amenable to firing up the gas grille for the first little while, anyway.

Once the old kitchen is put out of commission, there will be no tap that dispenses drinkable water until the new kitchen comes online.  We do have running water in the bathroom and laundry room but neither Judy nor I feel very comfortable about drinking the water dispensed by either of those.  Fortunately, we do have an electric water cooler which uses those large 19-litre plastic bottles of spring water that can be purchased at most grocery stores.  This water cooler dispenses both cold and hot water, depending on our beverage needs, and will be moved from the old kitchen to the makeshift one along with the other appliances.

As for cleaning used dishes, that will be done using the laundry tub.

The stove will be either given away or discarded, to be replaced with a new one, and the portable dishwasher will likewise be either given away, sold (for a song) or discarded, to be replaced by a built-in one.  Note:  The cost of these two new appliances is not part of the $50,000 quoted in my last post, so these will increase the project's total price tag, somewhat.

Having established the plan, such as it is, Judy and I tackled the task of clearing out as much of the cabinets as we could. We decided to start with the pantry, having agreed that anything following that could only be easier, not to mention less icky (with the possible exception of the refrigerator) as the rest doesn't involve food storage.  When possible, get the nasty stuff out of the way first, I always say.

We decided to group everything which came out of the pantry (or any other kitchen cabinet for that matter) into the following categories:

1. Need - Anything which we will need to be able to access and use while the new kitchen is under construction (for example, plates, cutlery, drinking glasses, sugar, coffee, bread, etc.)  These items will be left where they are, to be moved to the makeshift kitchen just before the old one is demolished.
   
   
2. Store - Anything which will not be needed while the new kitchen is under construction, but which we plan to keep (for example, a cake plate, empty vases, seldom-used food preparation tools such as the cheese grater, etc.)  These items will be packed into boxes and totes, to be unpacked when the new kitchen is complete.
   
   
3. Discard - Anything which is broken or has expired/gone bad or anything which we simply do not want to keep.  These items will be given away or thrown out.

We started with the top pantry shelf, on which were stored the most seldom-used items, being the hardest to reach.  That contained just two items; a glass cake plate, with cover (that's a "store") and a decorative four-piece serving bowl set with matching tray which had been a gift from someone  and which  we had never used and weren't ever likely to use.  That ended up going to our daughter, who fancied it.  Fortunately, she didn't turn out to be the person who had gifted it to us in the first place or, if she was, she has the best poker face that I've ever seen!

The remaining pantry shelves contained mainly food as well as miscellaneous food storage and preparation items.  There was an awful lot of old/expired food (some never opened) which we had forgotten about and, in some cases, had not even known about, having been purchased and stored in the pantry by the "kids" without our knowledge. 

There were also certain contrivances about whose origins we had no clue, but we were sure we had never purchased.  One example was a deep fryer basket (the mesh kind that one fills with french fries or fish, to be lowered into a vat of frying oil).  This was especially peculiar as we don't have a deep fryer.  Another somewhat esoteric one was a European tool in a box labeled "Eiershalensollbruchstellenverusacher" (a German moniker which roughly translates to "Eggshell predetermined breaking point causer," another example of the German penchant for inventing long monikers for very specific things!) As far as I could make out, this seemed to be a tool for cleanly cracking an eggshell around its entire perimeter at whatever point the user designates.  No messy tapping the egg with a spoon or on the rim of a hard bowl for those fastidious Germans, no sir!  I believe it was a gift from one of my Austrian aunts. Don't tell her, but it went into the "discard" group.

As you can well imagine, emptying all of one's kitchen cabinets and drawers is a tedious and time-consuming task.  By starting early (well before we even had a firm start date for the actual renovation), Judy and I were able to make the job more manageable by doing just a little (usually just one or two shelves) each day. 

When tackling a big project such as this one, it's prudent to allow for additional, unforeseen costs.  For example, one day I pulled into my driveway and glanced up at my roof for no particular reason, only to see a large chunk of my chimney top lying on my roof, next to my chimney, rather than sitting on top of the chimney, where it belonged.  Although this admittedly had nothing directly to do with the kitchen reno, it was nevertheless an expensive (roughly $4,000) repair which couldn't wait (chimneys are kind of a must-have, especially when one's home features not one, but two, natural wood-burning fireplaces, as does ours).  If our home maintenance budget hadn't had a certain amount of flexibility, this incident might have seriously delayed the kitchen reno project but, no, it was "Damn the falling chimney bricks!  Full steam ahead!"

Kitchen Reno: Part 1 - In The Beginning

I live in a bungalow that was built during the 1950s.  A few things have been upgraded and modernized but, for the most part, the house has retained its "rustic fifties charm."  

That assertion holds truer for the kitchen than it does for any other room in the house.  The cabinets are solid wood with a stain or lacquer finish which makes for a cottage-like wood-grain look, complete with knot-holes.  I like the look, but the cabinet surfaces have become scuffed and scratched over the years.  

Some of the cabinet doors are awkwardly hung and one is missing entirely, owing to the fact that they're all mounted using pin-and-socket pivot hinges.  It turns out that one downside to this sort of hinge is that they wear out the wood on which they're mounted over time, causing it to crack and warp, until the hinges are no longer properly aligned or just fall apart altogether.  This comes from having only two mount points supporting each cabinet door, and most of that weight is taken by the lower one.  

Oh, and the cabinet door and drawer handles don't all match.  Several of the originals literally broke from the stress of simply being pulled and pushed once too often for too many years.  It probably didn't help that none of the drawers have roller guides on their sides, so that they open and close by the principle of force over friction only.

The counter tops are a dark gray boomerang Formica pattern, which I discuss in much more detail elsewhere in this blog.

The sink consists of a single basin as opposed to the more popular double-basin sinks.  There is no built-in dishwasher.  We use a portable one, which needs to be rolled into position near the sink and attached to one of the faucets each time that it's used, and then rolled back out of the way again when it's finished washing its load.

The vinyl floor has, unfortunately, not tolerated the weight and stress of the dishwasher traversing it daily and has therefore begun to tear.  I use the word "begun" here in the same context as in the sentence "The universe has begun to expand since the big bang."

So, a kitchen renovation is clearly overdue.  With our grown kids having flown the nest fairly recently and, finding myself with a whole lot of extra time on my hands even more recently, my wife and I have decided that the time has come.

The first order of business was to define the scope of the project.  The cabinets need to be replaced.  It follows, then, that the countertops and backsplashes will also need to be replaced.  The walls are adorned with a garish wallpaper pattern which I can only say seemed like a good idea at the time, but whose novelty factor has now been greatly diminished.  The floor covering is damaged and must therefore also be replaced.   Concerning appliances, our refrigerator is still in decent shape, but our stove, while functional, has become a bit of an eye-sore and must also be replaced.  We want to install a built-in dishwasher to replace the portable one and, since the kitchen doesn't already have a built-in dishwasher, this will mean plumbing work in order to run the necessary water lines.

A project of this scope is clearly beyond my handyman expertise (avid readers may recall that I was barely up to the task of installing a new set of tub doors some years ago) so we set about looking for a contractor.  Friends and family members who have had similar renos done were able to provide us with a list of company names and contacts but, as we began reaching out to some of these, we found a dismaying tendency to specialize.  Some of them replaced cabinets and counter-tops, but didn't do floors, walls, electrical or plumbing work.  Some were able to provide the names of companies whom we could hire to do the work which they themselves didn't do, and some were even willing to subcontract the work out themselves, but I wanted one contractor who could do it all, so that I would have one point of contact to whom I can turn with any questions, suggestions or problems.  Further, because of my lack of handyman expertise and the impairments to my balance, dexterity and strength that come with Parkinson's disease, 

I wanted them to do everything, including demolition and removal of cabinets, counter tops, floor and wall coverings, etc. and installation of new ones, including any finishing, painting, repairs, plumbing, electrical, etc.  I want my only responsibilities to include emptying out the cabinets, drawers and refrigerator, clearing the counter-tops, moving the appliances, large and small, out of the kitchen, making decisions about things like paint colour, floor covering and cabinet and countertop style and opening up my wallet.

We eventually found a contractor by the name of Borman Construction who appeared to meet all of the above requirements.  I reached out to them via their web site and I got a speedy response from the owner, Eric Borman.  He came to our home to see the current state of things for himself and to take some measurements.  He also suggested some changes which we had not considered.  For example, we have a large pantry built into one corner of the kitchen, which we were going to leave alone, but Eric suggested that we build a new one with pull-out shelves and drawers for better access and organization.  (The current pantry has five fixed shelves, so you can imagine how awkward it is to get at anything stored near the back of any of the top shelves!)

After reviewing our requirements, Eric went back to his office and, within a week, sent us a formal quotation for the job.  Our new kitchen is going to cost us about $50,000 including taxes.

... And so begins the adventure! 

A Foretaste of Retirement

About a month ago, my boss walked up to my desk and asked, "Have you got a moment?"  If there's one thing that I've learned during my forty-one year career it's that, when your boss asks you that question, the correct answer is invariably "Yes".  So that's what I said, and she led me to one of the meeting rooms, where the Human Resources manager awaited us.

Uh-oh. 

Another thing that forty-one years in the workforce has taught me is that meetings with one's boss and any H.R. representative are rarely happy ones.

After the standard greetings had been exchanged and we were all seated, my boss spoke.  "We've noticed that you're still struggling with your work, due to your condition," (by which she meant Parkinson's disease) "and we feel that perhaps it might be time for you to take a short leave so that you can focus on your health."

I understood that a "short leave" meant my going on short term disability, which can be as long as twenty-six weeks (hardly my idea of "short") because my boss had tabled the possibility of my taking such a leave if my disease continued to affect my work during my last performance review.

Although the suggestion wasn't completely unexpected, I was still somewhat nonplussed.   It was true that some of my Parkinson's symptoms were proving to be hindrances to my work.  My typing speed had noticeably diminished due to reduced finger dexterity.  My mental focus was constantly divided between work activities like writing and debugging code, testing programs and updating documentation versus trying not to drool all over myself.  Another recent distraction was chronic lower back pain which I suspect resulted from improper posture caused by Parkinson's and which seemed to be exacerbated by prolonged sitting at my desk.  It's hard to concentrate when your back hurts.

So, yes, my work was somewhat impaired, but I honestly didn't feel that it was to such a degree that a six-month leave of absence was called for.  Clearly, my boss disagreed.  

The uncomfortable question that was bouncing around my brain was whether she was truly doing this out of concern for my health and well-being, or if this wasn't just a conveniently "nice" way to get rid of me.  After all, I would be off work and yet receiving my full salary for 14 weeks, after which I could stay off work at two-thirds of my regular pay for another 12 weeks. After that, I could return to the office in hopes that my long sabbatical had rejuvenated me to the point where I could once more be productive, or I had the option of switching to long term disability leave which, in my case, could take me right into retirement.  You see, I would be 64 years old at the end of my short term disability period, with less than a year left before I reached retirement age.

It is well-known, however, that Parkinson's disease doesn't get better.  It gets worse.  It's progress can be slowed with the help of medication, exercise, therapy and even surgical procedures, but none of these things has ever been able to reverse or even stop the deterioration.  It never gets better, so it's pretty much a foregone conclusion that I'm not going to magically return to my former job proficiency after my extended leave. 

With all these things taken into consideration, I decided to play along and go on short term disability leave, as suggested.  That was a month ago.  Since then, I've been off work.  It feels like I'm getting a sneak preview of what retirement will be like.  I suddenly have a lot more time on my hands.  This has its upside.  I always said that I'm not the kind of person who can't find any other way to pass the time besides my job.  I tend to make my own hobbies and pet projects.  Beyond those, there always seems to be lots to do in and around my home.  I have the time to exercise more regularly, and yet, I have to admit that there are times when I find myself wondering what I'm doing at home.  This just doesn't feel right.  I should be at the office debugging programs rather than whiling away my time at home.

My wife enjoys my increased presence.  For one thing, I now chauffeur her to work and back on days on which she's scheduled to work (she doesn't drive).  I've also assumed a larger share of the household chores than I did while working. 

The neighbors have noticed that I'm home most of the time and one of them, Ken, has taken this as his cue to be more sociable.  One day last week I was mowing my lawn when, suddenly, there was Ken, standing beside me.  I politely shut off my lawn mower so that I could hear him and he explained that he had tried to get my attention by waving to me several times, but I never saw him, so he finally decided that he would just have to come over.  Truth be told, I had noticed him a couple of times, waving his arms like he was practicing his semaphore, but I pretended not to.  I've nothing against the chap but, as I've declared several times throughout this blog, I'm a dyed-in-the-wool introvert.  As such, I don't generally enjoy exchanging pleasantries whom I don't know very well and, being an introvert, I've made no attempt to get to know any of my neighbors very well.

Ken began by expressing his concern because he'd noticed that I was home most of the time, but didn't come out of the house much, so he wondered if I was ill.  While mentally contemplating that I seem to have become the neighborhood Boo Radley, I assured him that I was fine but that I was on extended leave from work due to my Parkinson's condition (which he did know about) and that I was focusing on indoor projects and exercises.

Ken commented that he knew the company that I worked for and they have a good reputation for taking care of their employees and he wondered whether they still make computer racks.  I told him that they still do and he wondered whether they were made in Canada or in their Chinese plant because they'd moved production of some of their product to China and everything that came out of there was garbage and he couldn't get out much either these days because his minivan's rear axle had broken and the speedometer, odometer and fuel gauge didn't work properly and it was going to cost in the neighborhood of $5,000 to get it all repaired and at first he figured he'd just write off the old minivan and buy a used car but, darn it, used cars are ridiculously expensive these days, why you can't find anything for under $26,000 and even then you don't know what you're getting and nobody except for Chrysler even makes minivans anymore so he had decided to have his old minivan repaired after all but it wasn't going to be done until the end of the month but aside from the problems he'd already mentioned the car was in pristine condition because he's been meticulous about caring for it for example he has the bottom oil sprayed every year so that it's free from rust because he's seen too many cars whose bottoms just rust out from under them especially the newer models because the auto manufacturers have taken to using ridiculously thin sheet metal ever since 2019 and that just doesn't hold up speaking of which how do I like the Hyundai that I'm driving these days and he talked for 45 minutes while I stood there smiling and nodding and wondering if I would ever be able to finish mowing my lawn.

As painful as it was having to listen to Ken's endless oratory, the realization came to me that I can now afford to waste that kind of time because I've nowhere else to be.  The jury is still out on whether this whole situation is a blessing or a curse. 

Microsoft Account Problem

  

 

 

For the longest time now, my PC has been throwing the following Windows notification at me pretty much daily:

For those readers who may not know what the above message means, Microsoft strongly advises that every Windows user should create a Microsoft account that's linked with their device (which can be a personal computer, tablet, phone, etc.)  The notification is telling me that there is something wrong with my Microsoft account and asking me to log into that account, presumably to resolve the problem.  

As I say, I've been seeing this notification almost daily for quite some time now, but I've been ignoring it because I wasn't having any problems with my PC or with Windows except for the annoying recurrence of the notification itself.  However, I finally got tired of the persistent nagging and decided to do something about it.  And so, I clicked on the message at the bottom to sign in to my Microsoft account.

Now, before I go on, I should note that the message is peculiar in itself, as it implies that I'm not already signed in to my Microsoft account, but my Microsoft account is linked to my PC, which runs Windows.  Ergo, I should be signing into my Microsoft account each time that I start Windows on my PC, so why is this notification implying that I'm not already signed in?  Curious. 

Having clicked on the notification, the following prompt appeared:

Once again, I was being told that I needed to sign into my Microsoft account so, ignoring the fact that I thought I had just tried to do exactly that, I obligingly clicked the 'Sign in' button.  That resulted in the following prompt:

 

 

Okay, so Microsoft wants to be sure that it's me.  That's fair enough, I suppose.  The 'Windows Security' heading at the top tells me that I'm accessing the Microsoft account that's linked to Windows, which runs on my PC, so the PIN that it's expecting should be the same one that I use to sign into Windows.  

 

Note the string of digits on the 'Identity' line.  That's my phone number.  It is not the identity with which I sign into Windows on my PC.  I used to have a second Microsoft account that did use my phone number as the identity.  It was linked with my Skype ID.  I deleted that account when Microsoft ended support for Skype, replacing it with Microsoft Teams, which is just like Skype, except that it sucks.  This was the first clue that something was indeed amiss.  I was being asked to sign into a Microsoft account that should no longer exist.  At least that explains why I wasn't already signed in.  Since there was no option for changing the identity for a different Microsoft account, I entered my PIN number and clicked the 'OK' button.  

 

Now, friends, there were only two things that could have happened after I clicked 'OK'.  One was that I'd be signed into my old Microsoft/Skype account and given further instructions, which wasn't very likely.  Hell, I didn't expect it!  The other possibility was that I would be told that no such account existed and never to be seen trying to sign in with that identity again, which was what I expected.  But there was a third possibility which I hadn't anticipated:

 

I was told that my phone number doesn't exist as a username (didn't I just say that?)  This time, however, there was an option to sign in with a different username, so I selected that.  

 

 

That gave me a 'Sign in' dialog, where I entered my Microsoft Windows account ID (the one that I should already be signed into) and clicked 'Next' to sign into it.

 

 

That led to a demand to enter my password, but at least asking me to do so for an account that I was already signed into was justified by the fact that I was accessing "sensitive info", so I humored it and entered my password (which had recently been referred to as my PIN number just to keep things as confused as possible) again and clicked the 'Sign in' button, to be greeted by ...
 

OH, FOR THE LOVE OF ... I was now officially going 'round in circles!  Once again I was asked to enter my PIN in order to "make sure it's me."  Notice that my identity had suddenly reverted back to my phone number, even though moments before I had clearly, expressly and unequivocally requested to sign in with a different ID!

 

This experience makes it easy to understand why casual PC users get frustrated.  I make my living as an Information Technology (I.T.) professional, yet I was at my wits' end (though nowhere near the end of my dictionary of expletives) trying to solve what should have been a relatively simple problem.  To this day, I still get daily notifications from my PC that there's a problem with my Microsoft account and, to this day, I have no idea what that problem might be, because I can't sign in to fix it and everything seems to work anyway.  I just blow it a raspberry before dismissing the notification, but doing so at least gives me some small satisfaction.