Parkinson's Update

This coming May will mark the fourth anniversary of my Parkinsonism diagnosis.  The disease probably began presenting symptoms for at least a year before I finally took the symptoms seriously enough to consult with my family doctor, so it's safe to say that I've been living with Parkinson's for about five years now. 

Parkinsonism, like Autism, includes a spectrum of disorders.  It can be split into multiple categories, including Idiopathic Parkinson's Disease (the most common type), Familial Parkinson's Disease, Early-onset Parkinson's Disease (the type with which Michael J. Fox is afflicted) and even Juvenile Parkinsonism, which starts in childhood or adolescence.  

Then there are multiple types of brain disorders which resemble Parkinson's Disease but involve different regions of the brain than the basal ganglia, which is the region affected by the more common varieties of the disease.  These include Progressive Supranuclear Palsy (or PSP), Corteobasal Degeneration (CBD), Dementia with Lewy Bodies (DLB) and the nasty Multiple System Atrophy (MSA).

Finally, there are "Secondary Parkinsonisms", which are Parkinsonisms caused by external factors such as medications, exposure to certain chemicals, head injuries or strokes rather than unexplained brain degeneration.

These Parkinsonisms can manifest in several ways.  The most common symptoms are tremors, slow movements, rigidity of muscles and trouble balancing and/or walking.

Parkinson's can also affect cognitive ability and, in my case, I fear that it has.  I find myself having difficulty recalling the names of well known people such as actors, musicians and politicians who aren't in the news every day (although I sometimes wish that I could forget about Donald Trump!)  I can usually recall the name eventually but, at first, I'll often have a clear mental image of the person that I'm thinking of, but I just can't recall his or her name.  I'm not talking about obscure people, either.  Some actors' names that I've had trouble recalling include Alec Baldwin, Russell Crowe and Sandra Bullock.

When conversing with others, I find myself mentally groping for words much more than I used to which, in turn, causes me to stammer.  When I do recall the word that I'm looking for, I sometimes have trouble  enunciating it.  My speech enunciation problems are related to the drooling that I've spoken of earlier.  Try speaking with a mouthful of saliva some time and you'll understand what I mean.

Perhaps you are thinking to yourself, as you read this, "Gee, Halmanator, your vocabulary seems pretty good to me."  I do pride myself on having above-average writing skills. The degradation in my ability to communicate isn't as apparent in my writing because you can't see the number of times that I paused while trying to think of the correct word or phrase, or trying to remember a name or a term.  Of course, enunciation isn't a factor, so I'll never shlur my wordsh or sta-sta-stammer when I write. 

I've been at my current job for going on seven years now.  My boss and I get along well and my annual performance reviews have always been very good.  She made the following comments in my performance review for the past year:

"Andy is very knowledgeable and a great resource.  I am starting to see Andy struggle with his level of comprehension when working on the finer details in projects and day-to-day issues that require a more detailed approach to resolve ... Andy puts in a great effort but sometimes needs someone to check for accuracy with the small details."

Well, at least she sugar-coated it somewhat.  She didn't comment that I'm taking longer to complete my assignments, but I know that to be the case as well.  I should note that my boss is aware of my Parkinson's diagnosis, so she understands that it's the disease that's causing my professional lapses as opposed to any apathy on my part.  

To illustrate a point that I made just before, the word "apathy" didn't come to me immediately.  I had to stop typing and think for several minutes before my brain was finally able to retrieve it.  Had I been speaking to you verbally, it would have come out something like "I should note that ... my boss is aware of my Par-Parkinshon's diagnosis, s-so she understans that it's the disease that's causing my profeshnal lapses as opposed to any ... uh .... any ... oh, what's the word I'm groping for?  ... Apathy!  As opposed to any apathy on my part,"

Getting back to memory lapses, there have been times, at work, when I've needed to revisit a program that I know I've worked with before, and yet I've had to re-learn how it works.  I've even forgotten how some of the changes that I myself made to programs work.  It seems that the moment I complete a task, my brain erases it from my memory before moving on to the next task.  Oh, I don't completely forget what I've done.  When reviewing it later, it does come back to me, so it is still buried in my deeper memory, but it seems to have been erased from that memory which is readily accessed on demand.

I'm taking steps to mitigate these problems.  I read a fair bit and, when I'm alone and no-one can hear me, I read aloud to practice my enunciation.  I'm going to try posting to this blog more often as well (yeah, I know, you've heard that one before!)  Writing on a regular basis may help me to retain my vocabulary, not to mention stimulating my creative pathways.  At work, before declaring an assignment as being completed, I will try to review the original request and everything that I've done, making sure that I haven't missed or forgotten anything.

Hopefully, with the help of a few mental disciplines, I can minimize my cognitive deterioration, if not turn it around.  My goal is to see something akin to the following on next year's performance review:

"Andy has demonstrated increased meticulousness over the past year. His work has returned to its former quality and it has not been necessary to check it for mistakes or omissions.  Well done, Andy!"

More Fun with ChatGPT

Artificial Intelligence (A.I.) is the hot topic nowadays (at least in the tech world), and large language models (LLMs or "chat bots") such as ChatGPT are the most accessible of the A.I. tools by the general public.  Whether you feel that A.I. is a boon to mankind or threatens to destroy it, it can't be denied that the large language models offer the greatest potential boost to the productivity and creativity of those whose work involves research, writing and reporting plus the use of a computer.

 Yes, you heard me right.  I said "creativity".  While granting that the LLMs are great at finding, summarizing and reporting data, many will argue that they can't spontaneously create works of fiction, novels, poems, songs and other such creative output.

I wouldn't be so sure.  Although I didn't come right out and say so at the time, I did offer a hint (in the list of subject tags) that a recent post on this blog, entitled Give Us Back Our Rainbow was, in fact, written almost entirely by ChatGPT, with just a tiny bit of editing done by myself.  It was written in response to the following request that I made to ChatGPT: "Write a tongue-in-cheek editorial chiding the LGBTQ community for co-opting the leprechauns' rainbow."  That was it.  The idea was mine.  The rest was ChatGPT.  

What amazed me most was that the post was actually funny.  It actually made me laugh!  Computers aren't supposed to understand the concept of humour.  Even Star Trek's Lt. Commander Data could never get the hang of it.  Yet ChatGPT made me laugh.

So, anyway, the other day I decided to toss another creative challenge at ChatGPT.  My request was as follows:  "Translate Hamlet's famous soliloquy to 'A Clockwork Orange' style slang". 

A quick word of explanation for those who may not be familiar with the novel, A Clockwork Orange.  It takes place in a dystopian future society and focuses on a gang of young hoodlums lead by a fifteen-year-old boy name Alex.  We needn't concern ourselves about the details of the story for the purpose of this blog.  You need only understand that, in the book, which is narrated in first person by Alex himself, he and his "droogs" or gang buddies, use a strange new type of slang, invented by the book's author, Anthony Burgess, called "Nadsat".  I had forgotten what the slang was called, if I ever knew that at all, hence my omission of its name in my instructions to ChatGPT.

To fulfill the request, then, ChatGPT had to:

1. Understand what I meant by "Hamlet".
2. Figure out which part of "Hamlet" that I wanted translated (without my having referenced any specific quotes from the play). 
3. Understand the reference to A Clockwork Orange. 
4. Understand the slang used in the book, including its dictionary (i.e. the list of slang terms and what they mean) and its grammatical rules.

Rather than just spitting out the translation, ChatGPT began with the following preamble, both getting itself into character and confirming how it understood my instructions:

O my droogie, I viddy you want me to do the ol’ Ludwig van Bard in the govoreet of young Alex and his malchicks. Here’s Hamlet’s “To be or not to be” remixed in full Nadsat horrorshow style: 

One comment about the above; you may wonder about the reference to "Ludwig van Bard".  In the book, young Alex is a big fan of the music of Beethoven (whom he likes to call 'Ludwig van').  Crossing Ludwig van Beethoven with William "The Immortal Bard" Shakespeare in this manner may be exercising a bit of creative license, but you have to admit it is creative.  Also, note that ChatGPT took the opportunity to point out that the slang to which I referred has a name (Nadsat).  Anyway, having thus stated its intentions, ChatGPT proceeded to render the following translation of Hamlet's soliloquy:

To be or not to be, my brothers, that’s the real gloopy veshch:
Whether ’tis more horrorshow in the gulliver to slooshy the slings and arrows of bolshy fate,
Or to viddy arms against a sea of troubles and, by razrez, end them.
To snuff it, to slooshy no more—
And by snuff to say we stop the heart-ache,
And the thousand shocks of the flesh—such is the devotchka’s natural lot—
’Tis a pretty polly outcome, O my brothers.
To snuff, to slooshy no more—perchance to dream,
Ay, there’s the shilarny, for in that snuffing sleep,
What malenky dreams may come,
When we’ve put off this mortal platties,
Must give us a shiver.
That’s the razrez that makes calamity of such long life.
For who would bear the lashings and shame of time,
The oppressor’s wrong, the proud veck’s contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law’s delays,
The insolence of office, and the kicks and boots
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare nozhy?
Who would burdens carry, grunt and sweat under weary life,
But that the dread of something after snuff—
The undiscovered mesto, from whose bournes no chelloveck returns—
Puzzles the will, and makes us rather carry those miseries we know,
Than fly to others we know not of?
Thus conscience makes cowards of us all,
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of thought;
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn all razrez
And lose the name of action.

Wow!  That was good beyond all my expectations!  But ChatGPT wasn't done yet.  It proceeded to ask me a follow-up question:

Want me to tighten it further so it sounds exactly like something Alex would spit out in the Korova Milkbar (more fractured, slang-heavy, and sneery), or keep it at this halfway point—still recognizable as Shakespeare, just laced in Nadsat?

So here was ChatGPT adding a caveat that its first translation was intended to preserve the style of Hamlet's soliloquy at the expense of being a bit less true to what young Alex might actually have said.  I told it "Sure, go ahead" and it offered the following alternate translation (complete with another in-character preamble):

Right then, my droogie, here’s the soliloquy done up proper like Alex in full flow, sloshed on moloko plus, govoreeting all razrez with the old Nadsat:

---

**“To be or not to be, right right? That’s the gloopy veshch.
Whether it’s more horrorshow in the gulliver to slooshy the slings and arrows of bolshy rotten fate,
Or to grab the britva and razrez through a whole sea of troubles,
And by cutting, end ’em. Snuff it, sleep it, no more.
And by sleep say we zap the ache in the tick-tocker and all the thousand shocks a poor chelloveck’s flesh is heir to—
That’s a real cally outcome, O my brothers.

To snuff, to sleep, maybe to dream,
Ay, there’s the shilarny, right there, ’cause in that snuffing sleep,
What malenky sneety may come, when we’ve stripped off this mortal platties,
That makes a vecker pause. That’s the razrez, that’s the stinking rub.

For who’d viddy the lashes and jeers of time,
The chelloveck in power giving it the big yah, the pangs of starry love despised,
The starry law dragging its nogas,
The big vecks in office being all skorry with their boots,
When a vecker could make his quietus with just a nozhy slice?

Who’d carry the bouldy burdens, grunt and sweat in a gloopy long life,
But for the dreddy what-comes-after—
That undiscovered mesto, where no malchick nor devotchka ever comes back from—
That makes us all cowardy millicents.
We’d rather hold on to the miseries we viddy,
Than take a chance on horrorshow new ones we don’t know.

So the nagoy conscience makes chicken-hearts of us all,
And the fire and blood of will gets sicklied o’er
With the pale, pale cast of thinking,
And all our razrez plans, all full of oomny,
Get turned aside and lose the name of action. Right right.”**

What can I say except that I'm suitably impressed.

Musical Artists Cave to Cancel Culture

I read recently that, according to Rolling Stone magazine, certain musical artists, including Cher, Joni Mitchell and The Rolling Stones themselves, have started censoring their own work by excluding songs or artwork that may be seen as being politically incorrect.

Cher chose to omit her 1973 hit, Half-breed, from her soon-to-be-released anthology, entitled Forever.

Joni Mitchell recently released a boxed set of her albums from the seventies, including one entitled Don Juan's Reckless Daughter.  Although the album was included, the cover art, which originally showed Mitchell wearing blackface makeup, was completely replaced with a new image of Mitchell hiding behind a wolf.

Don Juan's Reckless Daughter: Original Cover Artwork vs Revised Woke Artwork

 

Let me just state here that it wasn't even clear to me, just looking at the original cover art, that Mitchell was even wearing blackface.  She looks, to me, as white as the child to the right of her.  If Rolling Stone magazine hadn't said that she wore blackface, I'd have never known.  If I were to criticize the album cover for depicting a racial stereotype, it would be the black guy dressed as a pimp that I would single out.

 

As for the Rolling Stones, they removed their classic hit, Brown Sugar, from their concert play list back in 2021.

 

I've written before on this blog about radio stations removing Dire Straits' 1985 hit, Money for Nothing, from their play lists because a handful of woke malcontents took exception to the line, "That little faggot with the earring and the makeup".  While this may, at first, seem different, given that it wasn't the artists themselves who pulled the song, front man Mark Knopfler has since taken to substituting other words, such as "trucker", for the word "faggot" when he performs the song live. 

At risk of digressing, I'm sure that, for a while, after all the outrage on social media, YouTube posted an edited version of the Money for Nothing video with the offending verse edited out.  Since then, however, they seem to have restored the full original video.  Good for them!

While I respect the right of any musician or group to revise or even eliminate their own work from the public domain (after all, they own it), it's disappointing that they have decided to prioritize political correctness over the message that they were attempting to convey.

It seems we're neglecting to take context into account when evaluating artistic content.  If you listen carefully to Cher's Half-breed, it's a song about a despondent young girl whose only crime was to be conceived by a native American mother and a white father, and who was never accepted by either race as a result.  The song not only illustrates the emotional harm that racism can do, but it also points out that racism is a two-way street.  Even those belonging to a minority race can be guilty of racist attitudes toward the majority.  Here are the full lyrics for that song:

My father married a pure Cherokee
My mother's people were ashamed of me
The Indians said that I was white by law
The White Man always called me "Indian Squaw"

 

Half-breed, that's all I ever heard
Half-breed, how I learned to hate the word
Half-breed, she's no good they warned
Both sides were against me since the day I was born

 

We never settled, went from town to town
When you're not welcome you don't hang around
The other children always laughed at me
"Give her a feather, she's a Cherokee"
 

Half-breed, that's all I ever heard
Half-breed, how I learned to hate the word
Half-breed, she's no good they warned
Both sides were against me since the day I was born

 

We weren't accepted and I felt ashamed
Nineteen I left them, tell me who's to blame
My life since then has been from man to man
But I can't run away from what I am

 

Half-breed, that's all I ever heard
Half-breed, how I learned to hate the word
Half-breed, she's no good they warned
Both sides were against me since the day I was born

Now do we see the context?  The racial slur, "half-breed" isn't used maliciously or frivolously.  The song makes it clear that the epithet hurts the singer and it condemns not only the white race for using it, but the Cherokee race as well, for doing the same.  

As for the Stones' Brown Sugar, Keith Richards is the one band member who says that the song is about the horrors of slavery and hopes to some day reintroduce it to their concert line-up (assuming the Stones do any more concerts).  I have to admit, the condemnation of slavery isn't as obvious to me when I read these lyrics.  I can see where they might be misconstrued as a celebration of same (the repeated "Yeah, yeah, yeah, woo's might be a bit misleading).  But Keith Richard said "horrors" and, being one of the song's co-writers, he aught to know.  To save space (and some copy-pasting on my part), I'll just provide a link to the lyrics, rather than repeating them here, so that you can read them or even sing them and decide for yourself.

And, finally, at risk of repeating myself (and I am) the word "faggot" in Dire Straits' Money for Nothing is not being used maliciously or even directly by the singer, but is merely being quoted as having been spoken by a delivery guy who, by his manner of speech, doesn't come across as being the sharpest knife in the drawer, exactly.  In my opinion, the song is ridiculing the speaker for using the term.  It's like front man Mark Knopfler is winking at his audience and saying "Okay, folks, I think it's clear what sort of mentality it is that we're dealing with here."  I'm going to paste in the full lyrics, rather than just a link, because I particularly like this song.  So, here they are and, if they offended you before, keep in mind as you read them that the whole song is merely quoting this nameless delivery grunt and that, far from glorifying him or even agreeing with him, is depicting him as the under-educated, ignorant fool that he is.  Oh, and feel free to sing the words out and play air guitar while you do so.  I know I will!  

 

Remember, context is important.

Now look at them yo-yos, that's the way you do it
You play the guitar on the MTV
That ain't workin', that's the way you do it
Money for nothin' and your chicks for free

 

Now that ain't workin', that's the way you do it
Lemme tell ya, them guys ain't dumb
Maybe get a blister on your little finger
Maybe get a blister on your thumb

 

We got to install microwave ovens, custom kitchen deliveries
We got to move these refrigerators, we got to move these color TVs

 

That little faggot with the earring and the make up
Yeah, buddy, that's his own hair
That little faggot got his own jet airplane
That little faggot, he's a millionaire

 

We got to install microwave ovens, custom kitchen deliveries
We got to move these refrigerators, we gotta move these color TVs

 

We got to install microwave ovens, custom kitchen deliveries
We got to move these refrigerators, we got to move these color TVs
 

Looky here, look out

I shoulda learned to play the guitar
I shoulda learned to play them drums
Look at that mama, she got it stickin' in the camera man
We could have some fun

 

And who's up there, what's that?
Hawaiian noises?
He's bangin' on the bongos like a chimpanzee
No that ain't workin', that's the way you do it
Get your money for nothin', get your chicks for free

 

We got to install microwave ovens, custom kitchen deliveries
We got to move these refrigerators, we gotta move these color TVs

 

Listen here
Now that ain't workin' that's the way you do it
You play the guitar on the MTV
That ain't workin', that's the way you do it
Money for nothin' and your chicks for free
Money for nothin', chicks for free
Get your money for nothin' and your chicks for free
Ooh, money for nothin', chicks for free
Money for nothin', chicks for free (money, money, money)
Money for nothin', chicks for free
Get your money for nothin', get your chicks for free
Get your money for nothin' and the chicks for free
Get your money for nothin' and the chicks for free

Look at that, look at that
Get your money for nothin' (I want my, I want my)
Chicks for free (I want my MTV)
Money for nothin', chicks for free (I want my, I want my, I want my MTV)
Get your money for nothin' (I want my, I want my)
And the chicks for free (I want my MTV)
Get your money for nothin' (I want my, I want my)
And the chicks for free (I want my MTV)
Easy, easy money for nothin' (I want my, I want my)
Easy, easy chicks for free (I want my MTV)
Easy, easy money for nothin' (I want my, I want my)
Chicks for free (I want my MTV)
That ain't workin'

Money for nothing, chicks for free
Money for nothing, chicks for free