We're Doomed!

"The trouble is, you think you have time."    - Confuscious

I'm really worried about global warming.

Yeah, I know, who isn't right?

Well, far too many climate change deniers aren't worried, but I'm not worried about them either.  Happily they're the minority and therefore not really the problem.

See, I don't think that we're going to beat this.  It isn't because we don't have the scientific knowledge or the technical expertise to make the necessary changes.  What makes climate change such an insidious threat is three things:

1. Everybody thinks it's a future problem.

Most people think that climate change is something that's coming in the next decade or two.  Climate change is here now.  Signs of it are everywhere if you only look.  The polar ice caps are receding.  Glaciers are melting.  Average global temperatures are increasing year by year.  Extreme weather events like tornadoes, hurricanes, violent thunderstorms and prolonged droughts are becoming more and more frequent.  It's no longer a question of avoiding the consequences of climate change.  It has now become a question of minimizing the damage.  And yet, still, the nations of the world do nothing substantive beyond setting carbon emission targets for the next decade or two, and then consistently missing them.

2. Everybody thinks it's somebody else's problem

The U.S.A. says that India and China aren't doing their part to reduce carbon emissions.  China and India blame the U.S.A. and each other.  Everybody vilifies Canada for our carbon rich extraction of bitumen from the Athabaska tar sands (and rightly so).  Developing countries argue that they should be exempt from carbon limitations, at least until their economies come closer to parity with those of the developed nations.  In short, everybody points the finger at someone else and cries "They're the problem, not me."

3. The people who understand the scope and urgency of the problem are not the people who make policy

Climate scientists have been sounding the alarm for years.  They show us the evidence that climate change is an existential threat.  They urge us to reduce carbon emissions now and give us grim projections of the consequences should we fail to do so,  But they can only inform and warn.  They have no power to affect the drastic changes that are needed to avoid disaster.  That falls to the government leaders and politicians who, unfortunately, consistently prioritize their own short-term goals over the long-term good.  Every politician knows that implementing the necessary changes will mean higher taxes, personal inconvenience and, therefore, a loss of voters.  Yes, you and I are also at fault, my friend because our self-serving leaders only give us that which they perceive that we want, and most of us would balk at the kinds of personal sacrifice and increased costs that real change involves.

And so the human race sleepwalks lemming-like onward toward the precipice, unwilling and unable to change course or to stop. 

Future Shock: Predictable Present

Alvin Toffler was an author and a futurist, best known for two best-seller non-fiction books which he published in 1970 and 1980 entitled "Future Shock" and "The Third Wave", respectively.

"Future Shock" discussed the psychological and sociological impact of the ever-advancing rate of change (due mostly to technology).  It was in this book that Toffler first coined the term "information overload".  The book discussed numerous examples of ways in which the industrial society of the sixties and seventies was morphing into what Toffler called a"post-industrial society" in which disposable goods increasingly replace durable goods (i.e. goods that no longer function properly are simply replaced rather than being repaired), whole industries die out to be replaced by entirely new ones and people change employers and even professions with increasing frequency; in short, everything becomes less permanent and more temporary from goods, to jobs and even human relationships.

Sound familiar?  So far, I'd have to say that Toffler hit the nail right on the head.

"The Third Wave" discussed the transition from the industrial age to the information age and what effect this would have on society and individual lives.   In several ways, "The Third Wave" was more optimistic than "Future Shock" as it actually discussed how the information age might change peoples' lives for the better.  For example, in this book, Toffler predicted that the five-day work week would likely be reduced to a four-day or even three-day work week with no loss of income for the very practical reason that information technology made it possible for people to be just as productive in three days as they used to be in five.

Ah, but Toffler forgot about one thing; corporate greed.  The reality is that, when one demonstrates that one is able to do the same amount of work in three days that formerly took five days, one's employer simply expects that much productivity after five days.  Put another way, rather than being content with the previous level of productivity in less time, the employer expects increased productivity in the same amount of time for the same pay and reaps the cost savings benefit for themselves.  In fact, most companies, on seeing a 40% increase in productivity, will push for 50% or even 60%.  And when that level of productivity is achieved, the company will demand 70%.  Give 'em an inch, and they'll take a mile, as the old saying goes.

Sorry Dr. Toffler but, had you thought it through, you could have predicted that as well.

A-Nit Pickin' and A-Grinnin'

Out on runway number nine
Big 707 set to go
While I'm stuck here on the ground
With a pain that ever grows

Those lines are from one of Gordon Lightfoot's most famous songs, Early Mornin' Rain.  But did you know that Lightfoot made a technical error when he wrote the lyrics to that song?  A later verse goes like this...

Hear the mighty engines roar
See the silver bird on high
She's away and westward bound
Far above the clouds she'll fly

Do you see it?  It's such a glaring mistake, it makes you wonder how he could possibly have missed it, doesn't it?

... (Crickets) ...

Okay, for the benefit of those few of you who might not be familiar with the ways of aviation, runway numbers are based on the compass direction in which the runway faces.  Runway 36 would face to a heading of 360 degrees (north).  Runway 27 would face to a heading of 270 degrees (west), but runway number nine faces to a heading of 90 degrees.  That's due east!  Any airplane taking off from runway number nine would be away and eastward bound, not westward.  Apparently, the song's protagonist was cold and drunker than he realized!

What makes it even sadder, is how easily this could have been fixed; just change the word "westward" to "eastward". 

Hear the mighty engines roar
See the silver bird on high
She's away and eastward bound
Far above the clouds she'll fly

There. Perfect. 

Alternatively, if the airplane really must be going westward for some obscure reason, you could alter the earlier verse instead, like this ...

Out on runway twenty-seven
Big 707 set to go
While I'm stuck here on the ground
With a pain that ever grows

Now the plane can happily be away and westward bound in the other verse.  But, personally, I prefer my first suggestion because, although the first and third lines of the verse don't need to rhyme, Out on runway twenty-seven just doesn't roll off the tongue as effortlessly as Out on runway number nine, does it?

In Lightfoot's defense, he's not alone in making these lyrical faux pas.  In fact, I could point out a few more obvious ones (and you know that I will).

One of Chris de Burgh's best-known classics is a song named A Spaceman Came Traveling.  It starts out...

A spaceman came traveling on his ship from afar
T'was light years of time since his mission did start

D'OH!!!  Only the second line and he's already wrecked the song!  Okay, surely nobody missed that one, right?  Light years is a measure of distance, not of time.  Specifically, a light year measures the distance that light travels in one year.  Who wrote those lyrics, the same guy who said that the Millenium Falcon made the Kessel Run in less that twelve parsecs?

Once again, easy fix...

A spaceman came traveling on his ship from afar
T'was light years away that his mission did start

And .... done.

One more example.  This time, I'll pick on Neil Diamond and his well-known song, Play Me.  (Note that I'm not picking obscure songs that nobody has ever heard of here.  Every single example so far has been taken from one of the singer's best-known songs!)  Consider this verse ...

Songs she sang to me
Songs she brang to me
Words that rang in me
Rhyme that sprang from me

"Brang???"  What the hell is "brang"?  That's not even a word!  If you mean the past tense of "bring", Neil, the word is "brought".  Of course, that doesn't rhyme, so this is a bit trickier to fix.  Hmmm, let's see now ... how about ...

Songs she sought for me
Songs she brought to me ...

No.  That doesn't really work, does it?  What if we change the tense?

Songs she'd sing to me
Songs she'd bring to me
Words would ring in me
Rhyme would spring in me

Yes!  There you are!  So Gord, Chris, Neil, now that I've done the heavy lifting for you, I expect you to use my new and improved lyrics any time you perform these songs from now on.  In fact, maybe you could nip into the studio and record revised versions of all three using the "proper" lyrics.  I don't think that's asking too much.

Cordially, Your Friendly Neighborhood Halmanator

Confessions of a Recluse

I have a confession to make.  I believe that I've weathered this pandemic better than most, because I have certain distinct advantages.  For one thing, I'm not a moron.  This has helped me to avoid getting infected.  Unlike those so-called "anti maskers", I understand that the novel Corona virus does not gave a rat's patootie about my personal rights and freedoms, so I follow the protocols.  I wear a mask when in public spaces, I try to maintain a distance of 2 meters or more from others where possible, I sanitize my hands regularly and I avoid unnecessary outings.

 I'm lucky enough to work for a company that has been designated an essential service, and so has remained both open and profitable, so my earnings have not been affected.  And yet, my job is not the kind of job that potentially puts me in harm's way like our doctors, nurses, personal support workers, truck drivers, grocery store clerks and Wal-Mart greeters.  

I also avoid socializing unnecessarily, and here is where I have another distinct advantage. As I've said more than once in this blog, I'm a natural introvert.  I actually like keeping to myself and staying in most of the time.  My idea of a fun evening is sitting at home in my easy chair watching something on TV - even something I've seen before.  Goodness knows, I have lots of movies and TV shows in my Blu-ray and DVD collection.  I don't even subscribe to Netflix or the Disney Channel.  I do subscribe to Crave TV because I'm apparently not happy unless I'm vastly over-paying for my recreational media (okay, so maybe I am a bit of a moron in some respects).

I have a fairly large music collection and I often enjoy listening to it.  By this I mean really listening.  Not just playing it in the background whilst doing something else.  I mean sitting back in that beloved easy chair of mine, the same one from which I watch TV, turning on some music, closing my eyes and just listening, savouring every note, every lyric, every nuance.   

Before the pandemic hit, I had been invited to a wedding that took place last November.  Because of the pandemic, the newly-weds had to scale back their guest list, so my invitation was revoked with regrets.  Was I offended or even just bummed out?  No sirree!  I felt like I'd been let off the hook.  I don't generally like going to weddings.  I'm not even looking forward to my daughter's this year!  If I could find some way of staying home and playing Duke Nukem Forever instead of attending, I'd do it in a heartbeat!

I don't even have Zoom or Skype chats with my friends and family.  I do use Skype, but just the text messages, no voice or video.  If I want to actually talk to someone (which is rare enough), I use a good old-fashioned telephone.  I don't need to see their faces.  In most cases, I know what they look like.  I don't have all that many friends and those few that I do have, I keep in touch via e-mail (and/or Skype).  I don't even have a Facebook or Twitter account.  Anyone who wants to keep track of me on social media can do so by reading this blog plus they get the added benefit of my wit and wisdom (and humility).

Some have suggested that the isolation forced upon us by the pandemic can be detrimental to mental health (or just detri-mental for short).  I just made up that contraction, but feel free to use it, royalty-free.  Just be sure to always follow it with "(c) Halmanator, 2021".  I think, if anything, the social isolation has improved my mental health (full disclosure: there are those who would note, at this point, that this is no grand claim as it had no-where to go but up anyway).  

Most people think of introverts as socially-handicapped recluses.  I prefer the Myers-Briggs interpretation of the term.  Myers-Briggs defines an introvert as someone who gets his or her energy from solitude rather than social interaction.  Thanks to this pandemic, my batteries are fully-charged!

The Up-side Of 2020

I think that most people would agree that 2020 was not the best of years.  Aside from causing millions of deaths and sicknesses, COVID-19 has ravaged the world economy, throwing countless people out of work and causing the closure of countless businesses.  And yet, the Halmanator, being an eternal optimist, can find silver linings among even these ponderous clouds.  Here are some positive things that have come out of 2020.

The Environment

At their peak, daily global CO₂ emissions decreased by 26% compared with the mean 2019 levels, according to Nature Climate Change.  During the spring lock-downs, stories abounded about wildlife appearing in deserted city streets.  Aside from finally moving the carbon footprint in the right direction, this also refutes, once and for all, the argument that global warming is not caused by human activity.  The moment human activity is reduced, the carbon footprint decreases.  One couldn't ask for a clearer indication of cause and effect than that.  Perhaps more importantly, this has shown us that we can reduce carbon emissions.  It's not an unattainable goal.  We simply need the collective will to change our energy consumption habits.  The move from gasoline-powered cars to electric cars has been accelerated in many countries, promising a much-needed reduction in fossil fuel consumption within the next decade or so.  That's a definite step in the right direction.

Sharing the Wealth

Because of increased unemployment, many governments introduced some form of government income support until businesses could re-open and resume their activities.  This has shown us the benefits of a universal income program, something which had already been suggested before the pandemic, but which the pandemic may have accelerated.  Several countries are now looking much more seriously at this idea.  It's an improvement over traditional welfare because the recipient isn't penalized for improving his or her financial situation.

In This Together

Most people followed the new health and safety protocols, from wearing masks and frequent hand washing to staying home as much as possible to keeping a safe distance from others.  Many employers adopted a "work from home" policy and made it possible for employees to do so.  Front line workers including health care professionals, police, fire fighters, farmers, truck drivers and even common store clerks and food servers braved and continue to brave the risk of infection on a daily basis so that essential services can be provided.  Many of those with the financial means have donated to charities and food banks to help the less fortunate.  In many cases, the pandemic has brought out the best in people and has reminded us that we're stronger and more effective when we work together.

Trump Dumped

Yes, Donald Trump, that narcissistic, misogynistic, racist, vacuous, soulless, arrogant, jingoistic, narrow-minded, deceitful, elitist charlatan, the worst excuse for a man ever to occupy the office of President of the United States of America, has been voted out of that office.  Even so, he still refuses to accept defeat graciously, which in itself speaks volumes about his deplorable dearth of character.  No matter, the American people have spoken and the word is "go", and don't let the door hit you on the ass on the way out.  To quote Gene Wilder's Willy Wonka, "You get nothing!  You lose!  Good day sir!"

COVID-19 Vaccines

Not only have several viable COVID-19 vaccines been developed, but this has been accomplished in record time.  Perhaps this signals a new scientific approach that may herald similarly speedy cures for future diseases.  And lets not forget the brave volunteers who helped with early testing by agreeing to receive what was then an as yet untested vaccine so that it could be proven safe and effective.

2020 came with more than its share of challenges.  On that there can be no argument.  Yet it also reminded us of the indomitably of the human spirit, and what we can accomplish when we work together with goodwill and cooperation.  That's a message worth hearing.

Honey vs. Vinegar

A while ago, I was pulled over for nothing more than having the bad judgement to cut off a cop.  See, I was stopped at an intersection.  I had a stop sign.  The perpendicular traffic did not.  I swear I looked both ways and saw no cars.  Unfortunately, there was a bend in the road several yards to my left and, as I stepped on the accelerator and drove out into the intersection, a police cruiser suddenly came around that bend, headed right for my broadside.  His lights and siren were both off but, in hindsight, he must have been moving pretty quickly.

I floored it, in order to get out of his way as quickly as possible, while the officer behind the wheel of the cruiser simultaneously floored his brake pedal and turned on his bull horn.

Now, some of you may sympathize with me.  Some of you may be thinking "he must have been coming around that curve pretty darned fast!  Clearly, this was not your fault, Halmanator!"  Some of you might even have suggested as much to the police officer if you had been in my place, making protests along the lines of "I looked and saw no-one coming!  How fast were you driving, anyway?  You must have been speeding along at a pretty good clip!  I could understand it if you were responding to some kind of emergency dispatch but your lights and siren were both off!  Now, I'm willing to keep this little incident between us, but don't let it happen again ... pig!"

But that's not what I said.  I pulled over once I'd cleared the intersection, rolled down my window, and waited.  Within a few seconds, the cruiser drove up and stopped behind me.  The cop stepped out of his cruiser and sidled up to my driver's door.  Before he could say a word, I gave him my most sheepish smile and said "Well, that was definitely my bad!"

He regarded me silently for a moment and said "Yes it was."  Then he asked for my license and registration, which I promptly produced.  He went back to his cruiser for a few moments, presumably to check my history and look for any outstanding warrants, then came back, handed me back my license and registration and said "I know that curve is pretty close to the intersection but, next time, look more carefully" and, with that, he left.  No ticket.  No fine.  All in all, I'd gotten off easy.

My point here is that, had I been more combative or even belligerent, both my wallet and my demerit point collection would likely have wound up considerably lighter.  My apologetic, if not friendly attitude, probably helped a lot.

A more serious example:  In her book, Completely MAD (A History of the Comic Book and Magazine, author Maria Reidelbach talks about the history of MAD cartoonist Max Brandel, before he joined the magazine:

"A native of Austria, he had just begun a career as a cartoonist when the war broke out; during the Russian occupation of Poland he and his wife were captured by the Germans.  He was imprisoned in concentration camps, where he escaped death by amusing the Russians and the Gestapo with his caricatures of them."

Even in the midst of one of the most hellish institutions in history, Brandel was able to soften the hearts of men who thought nothing of sending whole families to their deaths by simply being likeable and making them laugh.

Then there's my dad.  During his battle with leukemia, he spent a fair bit of time in the hospital, not surprisingly.  The nursing staff always seemed particularly fond of him, again because he was simply a nice guy.  He accepted his sickness and the discomforts that arose from it gracefully, with few complaints, and he was always congenial with the nursing staff, smiling and chatting with them and occasionally expressing his appreciation for the care that they gave him.  When he died, several of them showed up at the funeral home visitations to pay their last respects.

Never underestimate the power of niceness and likeability.

Waxing Philosophical

René Descartes, philosopher; a wise and learned man
Said "I can prove that I exist; I think, therefore I am!"
I'd like to pose a question, though, that puts him on the spot:
A table doesn't think, so does that mean that it is not?

That verse was written by your friendly, neighborhood Halmanator back in the days of his youth, when he fancied himself a poet.

My tongue was, of course, planted firmly in my cheek when I wrote that verse.  As any logician will tell you, just because a premise is true, it does not automatically follow that its opposite is also true.  To wit: although thinking or self-awareness can be considered proof of an entity's existence, it does not follow that any entity which is not self-aware and unable to think does not exist.

We might extend the argument to say that an entity can also prove its existence by imposing itself upon the thoughts of one or more other sentient entities.  If you or I think about the table, we acknowledge its existence even though the table itself has no self-awareness or thought.

But if we accept that, we may blunder into the following challenge:  Hundreds of thousands of young children believe in Santa Claus.  They think about him so, given the previous argument, that is proof of Santa's existence.  But of course, Santa Claus doesn't exist ... or does he?

Perhaps the argument can be made that anything that occupies the thoughts of another does exist in some sense, especially if it occupies the thoughts of multiple others.  The tooth fairy, the bogeyman, Bugs Bunny, Darth Vader, Tom Sawyer, el chupacabra, Superman, Little Red Riding Hood and, yes, even God.  It may be argued that all of them exist in some sense, if only because we, the human race, have willed them to.