This coming May will mark the fourth anniversary of my Parkinsonism diagnosis. The disease probably began presenting symptoms for at least a year before I finally took the symptoms seriously enough to consult with my family doctor, so it's safe to say that I've been living with Parkinson's for about five years now.
Parkinsonism, like Autism, includes a spectrum of disorders. It can be split into multiple categories, including Idiopathic Parkinson's Disease (the most common type), Familial Parkinson's Disease, Early-onset Parkinson's Disease (the type with which Michael J. Fox is afflicted) and even Juvenile Parkinsonism, which starts in childhood or adolescence.
Then there are multiple types of brain disorders which resemble Parkinson's Disease but involve different regions of the brain than the basal ganglia, which is the region affected by the more common varieties of the disease. These include Progressive Supranuclear Palsy (or PSP), Corteobasal Degeneration (CBD), Dementia with Lewy Bodies (DLB) and the nasty Multiple System Atrophy (MSA).
Finally, there are "Secondary Parkinsonisms", which are Parkinsonisms caused by external factors such as medications, exposure to certain chemicals, head injuries or strokes rather than unexplained brain degeneration.
These Parkinsonisms can manifest in several ways. The most common symptoms are tremors, slow movements, rigidity of muscles and trouble balancing and/or walking.
Parkinson's can also affect cognitive ability and, in my case, I fear that it has. I find myself having difficulty recalling the names of well known people such as actors, musicians and politicians who aren't in the news every day (although I sometimes wish that I could forget about Donald Trump!) I can usually recall the name eventually but, at first, I'll often have a clear mental image of the person that I'm thinking of, but I just can't recall his or her name. I'm not talking about obscure people, either. Some actors' names that I've had trouble recalling include Alec Baldwin, Russell Crowe and Sandra Bullock.
When conversing with others, I find myself mentally groping for words much more than I used to which, in turn, causes me to stammer. When I do recall the word that I'm looking for, I sometimes have trouble enunciating it. My speech enunciation problems are related to the drooling that I've spoken of earlier. Try speaking with a mouthful of saliva some time and you'll understand what I mean.
Perhaps you are thinking to yourself, as you read this, "Gee, Halmanator, your vocabulary seems pretty good to me." I do pride myself on having above-average writing skills. The degradation in my ability to communicate isn't as apparent in my writing because you can't see the number of times that I paused while trying to think of the correct word or phrase, or trying to remember a name or a term. Of course, enunciation isn't a factor, so I'll never shlur my wordsh or sta-sta-stammer when I write.
I've been at my current job for going on seven years now. My boss and I get along well and my annual performance reviews have always been very good. She made the following comments in my performance review for the past year:
"Andy is very knowledgeable and a great resource. I am starting to see Andy struggle with his level of comprehension when working on the finer details in projects and day-to-day issues that require a more detailed approach to resolve ... Andy puts in a great effort but sometimes needs someone to check for accuracy with the small details."
Well, at least she sugar-coated it somewhat. She didn't comment that I'm taking longer to complete my assignments, but I know that to be the case as well. I should note that my boss is aware of my Parkinson's diagnosis, so she understands that it's the disease that's causing my professional lapses as opposed to any apathy on my part.
To illustrate a point that I made just before, the word "apathy" didn't come to me immediately. I had to stop typing and think for several minutes before my brain was finally able to retrieve it. Had I been speaking to you verbally, it would have come out something like "I should note that ... my boss is aware of my Par-Parkinshon's diagnosis, s-so she understans that it's the disease that's causing my profeshnal lapses as opposed to any ... uh .... any ... oh, what's the word I'm groping for? ... Apathy! As opposed to any apathy on my part,"
Getting back to memory lapses, there have been times, at work, when I've needed to revisit a program that I know I've worked with before, and yet I've had to re-learn how it works. I've even forgotten how some of the changes that I myself made to programs work. It seems that the moment I complete a task, my brain erases it from my memory before moving on to the next task. Oh, I don't completely forget what I've done. When reviewing it later, it does come back to me, so it is still buried in my deeper memory, but it seems to have been erased from that memory which is readily accessed on demand.
I'm taking steps to mitigate these problems. I read a fair bit and, when I'm alone and no-one can hear me, I read aloud to practice my enunciation. I'm going to try posting to this blog more often as well (yeah, I know, you've heard that one before!) Writing on a regular basis may help me to retain my vocabulary, not to mention stimulating my creative pathways. At work, before declaring an assignment as being completed, I will try to review the original request and everything that I've done, making sure that I haven't missed or forgotten anything.
Hopefully, with the help of a few mental disciplines, I can minimize my cognitive deterioration, if not turn it around. My goal is to see something akin to the following on next year's performance review:
"Andy has demonstrated increased meticulousness over the past year. His work has returned to its former quality and it has not been necessary to check it for mistakes or omissions. Well done, Andy!"
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