Hands Off Bruce Willis!

This is Bruce Willis...

...and this is Bruce Willis...

...and so is this...

Bruce Willis is one of those fundamental constants in life that we guys can depend upon.  He's tough.  He's macho.  He's cool.  He's witty.  He's like Sylvester Stallone with the ability to enunciate.  When the boss has been riding your ass all day, when the wife has booked your weekend looking at paint swatches and visiting with her parents, when the kids insist you take them on a road trip to the local Chuck E. Cheese's, when you're feeling more emasculated than Michael Keaton as Mr. Mom, you can always count on a Bruce Willis flick to man you back up with an invigorating shot of testosterone.  "Yippee-ki-yay, motherf....!"

So what on God's green earth is this abomination???

Imagine my dismay upon finding this affront to manhood in a DVD bargain bin recently!  Bruce Willis in a chick flick?  Really?  Is nothing sacred anymore?

Let's get something straight, ladies, Bruce Willis is off-limits!  He belongs to us guys!  We don't mess with your chick flick favourites.  You don't see titles like Fists of Fury starring Kate Hudson.  You'll never see Drew Barrymore in a car chase, steering with one hand while firing a 9mm Glock out the window with the other.  Anne Hathaway doesn't dress up in black tights and lay out bad ass thugs with roundhouse kicks...   oh, wait...

Okay, so Hathaway was Catwoman and Bruce Willis did a chick flick.  Let's call it even.  But from here on, ladies, HANDS OFF BRUCE WILLIS!

And, yes, I realize that Michelle Pfeiffer also played Catwoman, but she doesn't count.  She still did "girl" stuff like sew her own costume and use her whip as a jump rope for crying out loud!